Missouri Jokes

by | Mar 16, 2020 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. Memorial Day 2020: Not a single person at those Memorial Day swim parties in Missouri was social distancing. They were packed in there, shoulder-to-shoulder, splashing around, making a… …second wave pool. (Covid Jokes & Swimming Jokes)
  2. Why were Missouri and Maine admitted as states at the same time?… Because Maine loves company. (Maine Jokes)
  3. Why were Missouri and Maine admitted as states at the same time?… Because Missouri loves company. (Missouri Jokes)
  4. Can you name the Missouri?… “N” and “D”
  5. What did the Lake of the Ozarks say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (15 Best Lakes in Missouri)
  6. What is the tallest building in?… Missouri Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  7. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Missouri Turnpike!
  8. Where do a fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Missouri River. (Ten Longest Rivers in Missouri)
  9. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Mississippi River River!
  10. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The White River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  11. If a plane crashed on the borders of Missouri and Illinois where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  12. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Missouri. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in Missouri! (Teacher Jokes)
  13. Did you hear the joke about Saint Francois Mountains?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes & Missouri Mountains)
  14. A cowboy and his blind horse: A man is casually crossing the Missouri plains when his horse died all of the sudden. The nearest town was three days walk. So, he started to walk. 3 days later he ends up in this quiet ‘ol town but nobody had a horse for sale. So he commenced to walking to the closest town which was a two days journey. Unfortunately, nobody in that town had a horse for sale, however, he did come across this stable where the fellow runnin’ it mentioned his brother in a nearby Town had a horse for sale. He commenced to walk to this next town and 2 DAYS LATER found the guy’s brother. “I talked to your brother two days walk from here and he says you might have a horse to sell me.” “Yes I do have a horse for sale,” He replied, “But he don’t look so good.” “I don’t care. I’ll take him anyways. I’ve been walking for damn near a week now. I’m tired and I need a horse.” So he gets on the horse and the horse takes off and bumps into a tree and stops. “Heyyy, something’s wrong with this horse. I think he’s blind. YOU SOLD ME A BLIND HORSE MISTER!” “I told you Sir, THE HORSE DON’T LOOK SO GOOD!”
  15. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Missouri Resident: “No, not yet.”
  16. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Missouri Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  17. Where do Missouri elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  18. Where do Missouri middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  19. Where do Missouri high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  20. Why did the Missouri teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  21. Why did the Missouri teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  22. Why did the Missouri teacher jump into the ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  23. Why did the Missouri teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  24. What did Missouri see?… the same thing Arkansas.