Massachusetts Jokes for Kids

by | May 23, 2019 | Massachusetts, School Jokes | 0 comments

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More Massachusetts Jokes…

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Massachusetts jokes.
  2. You know, I don’t find the Super Bowl LI win all that historic… After all, this isn’t the first time Atlanta was burned by the north. (New England Jokes & Georgia Jokes)
  3. How do the Boston Celtics feel about having a leprechaun as a mascot?… Lucky! (Leprechaun Jokes)
  4. You know what is no joke?… The number of NBA titles the Boston Celtics have won. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
  5. What college football team would be a great help at a New England Clambake?… The Nebraska Cornhuskers! (Nebraska Jokes)
  6. What is Red Auerbach’s favorite Pink Floyd song?… Have a cigar. (365 Music Jokes)
  7. Who is the most honest player in the history of basketball?… Paul “The Truth” Pierce.
  8. What NBA team has the best floral arrangements?… The Boston Celtics. They play at the TD Garden. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
  9. I know why the Boston Celtics picked the them of “Different Here” for the 2024 NBA Playoffs… They talk different. Just as a Celtics fan to say “Park the car in Harvard Yard!” (Massachusetts Jokes)
  10. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the nickname of Larry Bird when he played for the Boston Celtics? (Massachusetts Jokes)
  11. What famous Southern Rock anthem is the same as the Boston Celtics offense during the 1980s… Free Bird. (World’s Best Basketball Jokes & 365 Music Jokes)
  12. If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?… Pilgrims (The Mayflower Ship) (Thanksgiving Day Jokes for Kids)
  13. What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?…Plymouth Rock! (Thanksgiving Day Jokes for Kids)
  14. The Patriots didn’t go to the Super Bowl last year… I was deflated. (Super Bowl Jokes)
  15. Warning: Police are on the lookout for an overweight man who did not pay his entrance fee to the Boston Marathon… He is believed to be still on the run. (Police Jokes)
  16. What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?… A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries. (Pirate Jokes)
  17. How did American colonists’ dogs protest against England?… The Boston Flea Party. (4th of July Jokes for Kids & Dog Jokes)
  18. Where do cardiologists like to watch the Boston Marathon?… Heartbreak Hill. (Doctor Jokes)
  19. What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?…Liberty! (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  20. How do people in Boston vote?… Early and often!
  21. What is the #1 hotel for runners of the Boston Marathon?… Heartbreak Hotel. (365 Music Jokes)
  22. Although the world is more accepting, I refuse to accept some races… That Boston Marathon is awful, with Heartbreak Hill.
  23. What is the worst US city to run a marathon?… Boston. It is the height of pollen season and it is in Mass “Achoo” setts.
  24. What’s the capital of Massachusetts?… M.
  25. What Boston Bruin would be a great lawyer?… Jeremy Swayman. (Lawyer Jokes & Massachusetts Jokes)
  26. Teacher: “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.” Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!” (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  27. If the Boston Celtics were chasing the Boston Red Sox team, what time would it be?… Five after nine. (5:09)
  28. If Boston Red Sox team were chasing the the Boston Celtics, what time would it be?… Five after nine. (9:05)
  29. What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War?…Chicken Catch-a-Tory! (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  30. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Neponset river!
  31. What did the sea say to the South Shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  32. What did the Massachusetts flag say to the American flag?… Nothing. It waved! (Flag Day Jokes for Kids)
  33. What rock do Massachusetts geologists analyze with the most?… Plymouth Rock.
  34. Why can New England fish measure distances so well?… Because they have their own scales.
  35. What do you call witches who go on a summer camp field trip to the beach?… Sandwitches! (Summer Camp Jokes)
  36. What do Larry Bird and a map key have in common?… Both are legends. (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  37. What do Big Papi and a map key have in common?… Both are legends. (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  38. Did you hear the 3rd pick in the 2024 NFL Draft will be the spokesperson for May Day… It is Derek Maye of the New England Patriots. (NFL Draft Jokes)
  39. Drake may now become a New England Patriots fan… with the selection of Drake Maye in the 1st round. (365 Music Jokes)
  40. Which NFL quarterback will be the spokesperson for May Day… It is Derek Maye of the New England Patriots. (NFL Draft Jokes)
  42. Drake Maye… be the answer to the New England Patriots’ recent quarterback concerns.  
  43. Drake Maye… be the next Tom Brady. 
  44. Drake Maye… be the next Tom Brady. 
  45. Drake Maye… be a great pick for the New England Patriots. 
  46. What’s a Massachusetts pirate’s second favorite mode of transportation?… A cAARRRRGGH! (Pirate Jokes)
  47. Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?…Because the horse was too heavy to carry! (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  48. What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?…The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
  49. What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?…The Americans licked the British. (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  50. What do you call an American revolutionary who draws cartoons?…Yankee Doodler. (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  51. Did you hear about the power outage in the Boston library?… Thirty people were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
  52. What did the sea say to the Nouth Shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  55. What does a fish from Massachusetts say when he sees his friend?… “Chowdy!” (Fishing Jokes)
  56. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?… June bugs. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Flower Jokes)
  57. What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?…Tea-shirts. (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  58. What U.S. state teaches math class all year long?… Mathachusetts. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  59. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Massachusetts?
  60. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Massachusetts knock-knock joke?
  61. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Massachusetts knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  62. What do penguins wear on their heads?… Ice caps.
  63. Did you hear about the map that was mugged?… It was rolled by the map librarian.
  64. How did the geography student drown?… His grades were below C-level. (Teacher Jokes)
  65. Why is “The Wave” banned in Alumni Stadium?… Two Eagles fans drowned last year.
  66. Why do Wellesley College students have such beautiful noses?… They’re hand picked.
  68. What is a nautical chart’s best pitch?… The depth curve. (Baseball Jokes for Kids)
  69. Where do you find the Atlantic Ocean without water?… On a map! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  70. What is the tallest building in the Massachusetts?… The Boston Public Library of course, it has the most stories!
  71. Where do Boston fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Charles River.
  72. Why does the Tom Brady know all the map symbols?… Because he’s a legend.
  73. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Massachusetts Turnpike!
  74. What projection is used to map the distribution Phillips Candy House chocolate?… The Bonne-Bonne (bon bon) projection. (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  75. What’s in the middle of the (Atlantic) ocean?… Letter E! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  76. What do Bobby Orr and a map key have in common?… Both are legends. (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  77. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Boston. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in Boston! (Teacher Jokes)
    Why don’t you see penguins New England Aquarium in Great Britain?… Because they are afraid of Wales! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  78. What is in the middle of Springfield?… The letter ‘G’! (Geography Jokes for Kids)(
  79. If a plane crashed on the border of Massachusetts and Connecticut, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  80. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Merrimack River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  81. Did you hear about the power outage at the Boston College library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
  82. State has TWO capitals. Can you name them?… “N” and “D”
  83. What did Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (15 Best Lakes in South Carolina)
  84. What is the tallest building in?… Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  85. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Turnpike!
  86. Where do a fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the . (Ten Longest Rivers in North Dakota)
  87. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The River!
  88. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  89. If a plane crashed on the borders of where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  90. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: North Dakota. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in ! (Teacher Jokes)
  91. Did you hear the joke about Mountain?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes)
  92. Montana, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town’s population. (Hiking Jokes)
  93. A couple in Montana had a baby… Now their population is 17! (Baby Jokes)
  94. A cowboy and his blind horse: A man is casually crossing the Montana plains when his horse died all of the sudden. The nearest town was three days walk. So, he started to walk. 3 days later he ends up in this quiet ‘ol town but nobody had a horse for sale. So he commenced to walking to the closest town which was a two days journey. Unfortunately, nobody in that town had a horse for sale, however, he did come across this stable where the fellow runnin’ it mentioned his brother in a nearby Town had a horse for sale. He commenced to walk to this next town and 2 DAYS LATER found the guy’s brother. “I talked to your brother two days walk from here and he says you might have a horse to sell me.” “Yes I do have a horse for sale,” He replied, “But he don’t look so good.” “I don’t care. I’ll take him anyways. I’ve been walking for damn near a week now. I’m tired and I need a horse.” So he gets on the horse and the horse takes off and bumps into a tree and stops. “Heyyy, something’s wrong with this horse. I think he’s blind. YOU SOLD ME A BLIND HORSE MISTER!” “I told you Sir, THE HORSE DON’T LOOK SO GOOD!”
  95. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Resident: “No, not yet.”
  96. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  97. Where do [state] elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  98. Where do [state] middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  99. Where do [state] high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  100. Why did the [state] teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  101. Why did the [state] teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  102. Why did the [state] teacher jump into the ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  103. Why did the [state] teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  104. What did [state] see?… the same thing Arkansas.