July Jokes

by | Jul 10, 2019 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. July 1st: Canada Day Jokes: If you’re Canadian when you go into the bathroom, and you’re Canadian when you come out of the bathroom, then what are you when you are in the bathroom?… European! (World Geography Jokes)
  2. July 1st: National Postal Workers Day: National Postal Workers Day Jokes: What do the winning Super Bowl team, Karl Malone, and the mailman have in common?… They always deliver. (Basketball Jokes & Super Bowl Jokes)
  3. 4th of July Knock Knock Jokes: How come there’s no Knock Knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings. (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
  4. July 4th 4th of July Jokes for Kids: What dance was very popular in 1776?… Indepen-dance! (American Revolution Jokes & Music Jokes)
  5. 4th of July. The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order. (4th of July Jokes)
  6. Do not let the fact that today is July 4th distract you… From the fact that England blew a 13 colony lead. (4th of July Jokes)
  7. July 7th – July 13th Shark Week Jokes: If you thought swimming with dolphins was expensive, you should try swimming with sharks …. It cost me an arm and a leg! (Swimming Jokes & Dolphin Jokes)
  8. July 7th – July 13th Shark Week Jokes: Where are sharks from?… Finland. (Geography Jokes)
  9. July 9th Cow Appreciation Day Jokes: Where do Russians get their milk?… From Mos-cows. (World Geography Jokes & Cow Jokes)
  10. July 7th – July 13th Shark Week Jokes: Summer PSA: A friendly reminder: Sharks live in the ocean… Year-round. (Ocean Jokes)
  11. July 11th National 7/11 Day: When is the best day to get a slurpee?… July 11th. It is 7/11!
  12. July 7th – July 13th Shark Week Jokes: Why are some sharks hard to trust?… They tell great white lies.
  13. July 7th – July 13th Shark Week Jokes: Summer PSA: Just remember, you’ll never need a bigger boat if you don’t go to the ocean. (Movie Jokes)
  14. July 14th: Top 10 Bastille Day Jokes: I was telling a great joke about the importance of the guillotine in the French Revolution… But it didn’t really land…. I guess execution really is key!
  15. July 7th – July 13th Shark Week Jokes: Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a White Shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on! (Cape Cod Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)
  16. July 16th Prime Day Jokes: Is it just me or is the 15th a bad day to have Prime day… The 11th, 13th, 17th, or 19th would have worked so much better.
  17. July 17th: National Hot Dog Day Hot Dog Jokes for Kids: What did the hot dog say when it won a gold medal?… I’m a wiener! (Summer Olympic Jokes)
  18. July 17th Prime Day Jokes: What numbers absolutely love “Prime” Day?… 2,3,5,7,11,13,17,19,23,29,31,37,41,43,47,53,59,61,67,71,73,79,83,89, and 97 to name a few! (Math Jokes for Kids)
  19. July 21st: Buck Moon Jokes: Full Buck Moon Jokes: Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. When nobody laughed he would follow with, “Ah well. I guess you had to be there.” (Walking Jokes)
  20. July 21st: National Ice Cream Day Jokes: 2022 National Ice Cream Day Jokes: 22 Funny Ice Cream Jokes: What school do kids like to go to during the summer?… Sundae school – because of all the ice cream! (Jokes for the Last Day of School)
  21. July 21st: National Junk Food Day: National Junk Food Day Jokes: Candy Jokes: What kind of bear has no teeth?… A gummy bear!
  22. What was the President doing in the weeks after his awful performance at the Presidential Debate against Donald Trump on June 27th, 2024… Just Biden his time until he dropped out of the race (July 21st, 2024).
  23. Top 10 Watermelon Jokes: When do you go at red and stop at green?… When you’re eating a watermelon. (Summer Jokes for Kids)
  24. Do they have a 4th of July in England?…Yes. That’s how they get from the 3rd to the 5th. (4th of July Quiz)
  25. My wife and I just had a daughter and named her JuneJulyAugust… We call her Summer for short. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Baby Jokes)
  26. Summer Olympics Jokes: A book never written: “The Olympic Trials” by Willy Qualify. (Book Jokes)
  27. Summer Olympics Jokes: Paris 2024 Summer Olympic Jokes: Do you think Joe Biden waited until it was closer to the Olympics to pass the torch? (Election Jokes)
  28. Summer Olympics Jokes: Gymnastics Jokes: What is an olympic gymnast’s favorite 1980’s song?… “I’ll Tumble for Ya” by Culture Club. (365 Music Jokes)
  29. Summer Olympics Jokes: Paris 2024 Summer Olympic Jokes: How do foreigners ask where is the bathroom in France during the 2024 Summer Olympics?… “Oui, Oui?”
  30. What Bangles song is perfect for the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics?… Eternal Flame. (365 Music Jokes)
  31. July 31st: Top 10 Harry Potter Jokes: On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you?… About nine and three quarters. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  32. Heat Wave Jokes: What is a surfer’s favorite kind of weather?… A heat wave. (Surfing Jokes)
  33. Heat Wave Jokes: What did the tide give on the hot day?… A heat wave. (Surfing Jokes)
  34. What did the shark say to the marlin at prom?… Lookin’ Sharp. (Prom Jokes)
  35. If you thought swimming with dolphins was expensive, you should try swimming with sharks …. It cost me an arm and a leg! (Swimming Jokes & Dolphin Jokes)
  36. Where are sharks from?… Finland. (Geography Jokes)
  37. Heat Wave Jokes: What is a great CD for a heat waver?… Mercury Rising by Sting. (365 Music Jokes)
  38. Top 10 Fireworks Jokes: I’m good at firework displays. I’ve got a flare for it. (Labor Day Jokes for Kids)
  39. America: Hey England, Happy Fourh of July! England: Where’s the T? America: Threw it in the harbor! (4th of July Jokes)
  40. What American holiday can you never trust?… the 4th of Ju – LIE! (4th of July Jokes)
  41. Most people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July except fire… Fire works on the 4th of July. (Fireworks Jokes & Labor Day Jokes)
  42. Heat Wave Jokes: What did the tide give on the hot day?… A heat wave. (Surfing Jokes)
  43. What month can you never trust?… July (get it Ju LIE!)
  44. Do they have a 4th of July in England?…Yes. That’s how they get from the 3rd to the 5th. (4th of July Quiz)
  45. Which month is most likely to commit perjury?… July (get it Ju LIE!) (Lawyer Jokes)
  46. What do you call a snowman in July?… A puddle. (Christmas Jokes for Kids & July Jokes for Kids)
  47. Top 10 July Jokes: Knock Knock… Whose there?… July… July who?… July down to take a nap. (Nap Jokes)
  48. May the Fourth be With You Star Wars Jokes: What did Luke Skywalker say on Independence day?… May the fourth be with you! (Star Wars Jokes)
  49. July Knock Knock Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… July… July who?… July when you get caught doing something wrong. (July Knock Knock Jokes)
  50. What do children treat their fathers to on the 4th of July?… Pops-icles. (Dad Jokes & Popsicle Jokes)
  51. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… July… July who?… July in court and you go to jail for perjury. (Lawyer Jokes)
  52. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… July… July who?… July to your mom and she gets mad. (Mother’s Day Jokes for Kids)
  53. Knock Knock… Whose there?… July… July who?… July to your dad and he gets mad. (Father’s Day Jokes for Kids)
  54. What is the firecracker’s favorite snack?… Pop-sicles. (Fireworks Jokes & Popsicle Jokes)
  55. What did one flag say to the other flag?…..Nothing. It just waved! (Flag Day Jokes for Kids)
  56. Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?…Yeah, it cracked me up! (American Revolution Jokes)
  57. What did King George think of the American colonists?…He thought they were revolting! (American Revolution Jokes)
  58. What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?…Liberty! (American Revolution Jokes)
  59. Teacher: “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!” (Social Studies Jokes)
  60. Which colonists told the most jokes?… Punsylvanians! (Top 50 State Jokes)
  61. What was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree. (Memorial Day Jokes for Kids)
  62. Knock knock!… Who’s there?… Tarzan… Tarzan who?… Tarzan stripes forever! (Tarzan Jokes)     
  63. “Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”… “On the bottom!” (American Revolution Jokes)
  64. Why were the first Americans like ants?… They lived in colonies. (American Revolution Jokes)
  65. What is the most popular sport on the Fourth of July?… Flag football. (Football Jokes & Flag Day Jokes)
  66. What did the firecracker eat at the movies?… Pop-corn. (Fireworks Jokes / Movie Jokes / Popcorn Jokes)
  67. What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War?…Chicken Catch-a-Tory! (American Revolution Jokes)
  68. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best July jokes.
  69. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about July?
  70. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good July knock-knock joke?
  71. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good July knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  72. What ghost haunted King George III?… The spirit of ’76! (American Revolution Jokes & Ghost Jokes)
  73. How did American colonists’ dogs protest against England?… The Boston Flea Party. (Dog Jokes for Kids)
  74. What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?…The Americans licked the British. (World Geography Jokes)
  75. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Sadie… Sadie, who?… Sadie Pledge of Allegiance — it’s the Fourth of July! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
  76. If you crossed a Patriot with a curly-haired dog, what would you get?… Yankee Poodle. (Dog Jokes & American Revolution Jokes)
  77. What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?…Tea-shirts. (American Revolution Jokes)
  78. What do you call an AWESOME American drawing by a child?… A Yankee Doodle Dandy! (Art Jokes)
  79. Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette
  80. I broke up with my fiance on the 4th of July… It was a Declaration of Independence. (Wedding Jokes)
  81. How was the at the Fourth of July picnic?…The hot dogs were bad, but the brats were the wurst! (Hot Dog Jokes for Kids)
  82. I brought a date to the 4th of July party… really sweetened up the fruit salad.
  83. What did the ghost say on the 4th of July?… Red, white, and boo!
  84. Why is Abraham Lincoln considered the least guilty American President?… Because he is in a cent.
  85. Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?…Because the horse was too heavy to carry! (American Revolution Jokes)
  86. Why was King George III scared? Because he was haunted by the spirit of ’76.
  87. What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?… Get in the boat, men!” (American Revolution Jokes)
  88. Teacher: “True or False? The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia.”Student: “False. It was written in ink.”
  89. What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington?… One has a bill on his face; the other has his face on a bill! (Funny Animal Jokes for Kids)
  90. What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?…The Battle of Bonkers Hill. (American Revolution Jokes)
  91. What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?… A fire cracker (Funny Animal Jokes for Kids & Firecracker Jokes for Kids)
  92. What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?… The Fodder of Our Country! (Cow Jokes for Kids)
  93. What was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite dessert?…Monti jello
  94. Did you hear about the artist in the Continental Army?…He was a Yankee doodler.
  95. Where did our first president keep his mice?… Mount Vermin!
  96. What did the firecracker shout on the 4th of July?… Red, white, and boom!
  97. What do you get when you cross Captain America with the Incredible Hulk?… The Star-Spangled Banner.
  98. Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?… They’re both cracked. (Easter Jokes for Kids)
  99. What’s red, white, blue, and green?… A patriotic turtle! (Turtle Jokes for Kids)
  100. How is a healthy person like the United States?…They both have good constitutions! (Constitution Jokes)
  101. Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?…Because she can’t sit down. (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  102. Best War of 1812 Book Never Written:… “The Star- Spangled Banner” by Jose Kanusee. (American Revolution Jokes)
  103. Best American Battle Book Never Written: “American Victories” by Norman D. Beech. (American Revolution Jokes)
  104. A Immigration Book Never Written: “Coming to America” by Anita Greencard. (World Geography Jokes)
  105. What’s red, white and blue?… Our flag, of course. And a sad candy cane! (Christmas Jokes for Kids)
  106. A Great American Book Never Written: “The Parts of the National Anthem” by Homer D. Brave.
  107. Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?… Student: “Play ball!” (Baseball Jokes for Kids)
  108. Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks. (Election Jokes for Kids)
  109. What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?… It can’t sit down.
  110. Why were the first Pennsylvania settlers like ants?… Because they lived in colonies. (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  111. What’s red, white, blue and green?… A seasick Uncle Sam. (Ocean Jokes for Kids)
  112. What did one firecracker say to the other firecracker?…My pop’s bigger than your pop. (Fireworks Jokes)
  113. What is Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?… Fire crackers (Fireworks Jokes)
  114. How much does the freedom weigh?… A washing-ton.
  115. Why did the duck say, “Bang”?… He was a fire-quacker. (Fireworks Jokes)
  116. American donuts… glazed, powdered and raspberry-filled; now how’s that for freedom of choice? Homer Simpson (Donut Jokes for Kids)
  117. Last 4th of July I remember watching the fireworks on the TV In hindsight, that probably wasn’t the best place to light them. (Fireworks Jokes)
  118. Which is the most patriotic tea that Americans like to drink?… It’s liber-tea.
  119. Where did George Washington get his hatchet?… From a chopping mall.
  120. Which is the highest rated flag?… The American Flag. It has got 50 stars.
  121. What does a patriot use on his dry skin?… A Revo-lotion.
  122. Where would you look if you want to find T?… In the Boston harbor.
  123. What’s red, white, black and blue?… Uncle Sam falling down the stairs.
  124. Do you know why Americans never knock?… Because freedom rings.
  125. Independence Day is the day married men celebrate something they once had.
  126. What do you find when you see the Hulk holding the American flag?… The Star-Spangled Banner.
  127. What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?… Beneduck Arnold.
  128. What did the fuse say to the firecracker?… Lets get together and “pop it like its hot.” (Fireworks Jokes)
  129. What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1772?… The Boston Flea Party. (Dog Jokes for Kids)
  130. Why is America happy on July 4th? Because it got a divorce from Britain.
  131. Where do American soldiers go to get a haircut?… They go to the Hair Force.
  132. Last year I blew all my fingers off on the 4th of July, and now my friends say they don’t trust me…. They say they can’t count on me. (4th of July Jokes & Fireworks Jokes)
  133. HAPPY FOURH OF JULY Looking for the T?… It’s in Boston Harbor. (4th of July Jokes)
  134. What’s the Difference Between February 14th and July 4th?… There isn’t any, at least to me, because they’re both Independence Day.  (4th of July Jokes & Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  135. I broke up with my girlfriend on the 4th of July… It was a Declaration of Independence.
  136. I broke up with my boyfriend on the 4th of July… It was a Declaration of Independence.
  137. How do the Blue Jays get ready for a game?… The worm-up! (Worm Jokes & Baseball Jokes)