Jokes for the 1st Day of School

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Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We promise to find the best jokes for the first day of school!
Why did the teacher forget to take attendance on the first day of school?… She was absent-minded.
What do you give a bee on the first day of class?… A Sylla-buzz. (180 School Jokes & Jokes for the 1st day of School)
What did one ghost teacher say to the students on the 1st day of school?… “Long time no see.” (Halloween Jokes for Teachers & Ghost Jokes)
Teacher #1: My new student is from Ireland. Teacher #2: Oh, really? …. Teacher #1: No, O’Reilly! (St Patrick’s Day Jokes for Teachers)
Who is everyone’s best friend on the first day of school?… Their princi-PAL. (Principal Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah who?… Noah more summer – it’s the 1st day of school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
How do young fish get to school?… By octobus.(Octopus Jokes)
Elementary Teacher on the 1st Day of School: Name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago. Student: Me! (Elementary School Jokes)
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Sadie… Sadie, who?… Sadie Pledge of Allegiance — it’s the 1st day of school! (4th of July Jokes & Jokes for the Last Day)
Knock! Knock!… Who is there?… Teddy!… Teddy who?… Teddy (today) is the first day of school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids / Jokes for the 1st Day of School / Bear Jokes)
Mother: How did you find school on the 1st day? Daughter: I just got off the bus and there it was! (Mother’s Day Jokes)
Why did the nose not want to go to school on the 1st day?… He did not want to getting picked on! (Biology Jokes)
Knock Knock!… Who’s there!… B-2!… B-2 who?… B-2 school on time! It is the 1st day! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Back to School Jokes)
“We have too many assessments on the 1st day of school!” The student said testily.
Teacher: Everybody hand in your homework, please. Students: Teacher, it’s the first day of school. We didn’t have any homework. Teacher: That’s right, and that’s the last excuse for not doing your homework that I’ll accept for the rest of the year. (Teacher Jokes)
Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school on the 1st day?… Because they’re all in High School. (Elementary School Jokes / Giraffe Jokes / High School Jokes)
The first day of school is exciting, but so is riding a roller coaster, and I wouldn’t want to do that for nine months in a row either. (Summer Jokes for Kids)
Why was the M&M so excited for the 1st day of school?… Because he really wanted to be a Smartie! (Candy Jokes for Kids)
Student: The first day of school is always special to me. It’s the only day of the year when I’m not behind in my homework. (Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school?… Looking sharp! (Pencil Jokes for Kids)
A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings. (Book Jokes)
On the 1st day of school, how do students know the difference between a teacher and a train?… A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!” (Teacher Jokes & Train Jokes)
Knock Knock…Who is there?… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you go to school, Kiss your mom good-bye! (Teacher Jokes)
What is the first thing a little snake learns in school?… Hiss tory. (US History Jokes & Snake Jokes)
Why did the echo get detention on the first day of school?… It kept answering back. (Principal Jokes)
Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Dewey…. Dewey who?… Dewey have to go to school today? Can’t we have one more day of summer (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
I show up on the 1st day of school with a full pencil box and an empty head.
Why did the broom get in trouble on the 1st day of school?… Because it was sweeping during class! (Napping Jokes for Kids)
Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4 ! B-4 who?… B-4 you go to bed, pick your clothes for the 1st day of school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
The first day of school wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t followed by the second day of school, and the third day of school, and then the fourth day of school…. (Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
What tool did the boy bring to his first math class?… Multi-plyers. (Math Jokes for Kids & Math Jokes for Teachers)
Who was in charge of the school during summer vacation?… The rulers.
What did the math teacher have for dessert in the 1st day of school?… Pi. (Pi Day Jokes & Math Jokes for Kids)
How does a science teacher freshen her breath on the 1st day of school?… With experi-mints! (Middle School Jokes & Science Jokes)
Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses on the 1st day of school?… She had bright students! (Summer Jokes)
How did the music teacher get locked in the classroom on the 1st day of school?… His keys were inside the piano! (Music Jokes)
Teacher: I’ll be teaching you English this year and there are two words that I will not permit on any of your writing assignments. One is “cool” and the other is “lousy.” Student: Okay, what are the words?
What food do math teachers eat on the 1st day of school?… Square meals! (Math Jokes for Kids)
My grandparents buy me so many school supplies for the first day of school that I have to take the first two weeks off just to sharpen pencils. (Pencil Jokes & Grandparent Jokes)
Why was the teacher suspicious of the Watermelon on the 1st day of school… She couldn’t really put her finger on it. He just looked a little seedy. (Jokes for Teachers)
What school supply is always tired on the 1st day of school?… A knapsack! (Napping Jokes for Kids)
How can a student make straight A’s on the 1st day of school and all year?… Use a ruler.
Mother: How do you like your new teacher? Son: I don’t. She told me to sit up front for the present and then she didn’t give me one! (Mother’s Day Jokes & Mom Jokes)
Why did the little vampires stay up all night on the last day of summer?… They were studying for a blood test on the 1st day of school. (Halloween Jokes & Vampire Jokes)
Why would a music teacher need a ladder on the 1st day of school?… The reach the high notes. (Music Jokes)
Student: Teacher, I don’t have a pencil. Teacher: How can you come to school on the 1st day without a pencil? Student: I took the bus. (Pencil Jokes)
Some kids enjoy buying school supplies for the 1st day… To me, it’s like buying your own dental instruments.
What’s big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mother’s day on the 1st day of school?… The school bus! (Mother’s Day Jokes & Crayon Jokes)
What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil on the 1st day of school?… Stop going in circles and get to the point! (Pencil Jokes)
What is worse than finding a worm in your apple on the 1st day of school?… Finding half a worm. (Apple Jokes & Worm Jokes)
Knock Knock Who’s there ! B-4 ! B-4 who ? B-4 you go to bed, do your homework! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
Son to mother after 1st day of school. “Nothing exciting happened except the teacher didn’t know how to spell cat, so I told her.” (Cat Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
What kind of tree does a math teacher climb on the 1st day?… Geometry. (Geometry Jokes / Tree Jokes / Arbor Day Jokes)
What do elves learn on the 1st day of school?… The elf-abet! (Christmas Jokes / Elf Jokes / Christmas Trivia Answers)
What do witches learn on the 1st day of school?… Spelling! (Christmas Jokes / Elf Jokes / Christmas Trivia Answers)
Son: I think we need a new teacher. Mom: Why is that? Son: Our teacher doesn’t know anything, she keeps asking us for the answers. (Kindergarten Jokes)
What did the lobster do when the first day of school ended?… It shellabrated. (Lobster Jokes)
Why do magicians do so well on the 1st day of school?… They’re good at trick questions. (Magic Jokes)
Why do trees hate going back to school in the fall?… Because they’re easily stumped! (Fall Jokes & Back to School Jokes)
Teacher: Why are you late for the 1st day of school?… Student: Because of the sign on the road? Teacher: What sign? Student: School Ahead. Go slow! (Teacher Jokes)
Knock, knock…. Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys the 1st day of school – no homework! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
Where do math teachers miss the most on the 1st day of school?… Times Square! (New York Jokes & Math Jokes)
Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object? Student: You are pretty. Teacher: What’s the direct object? Student: A good report card. (Teacher Jokes)
Why was the obtuse angle so upset on the 1st day of school?… Because it was never right. (Math Jokes for Kids)
Why did the girl wear glasses during her 1st math class?… To improve her di-vison. (Math Jokes for Kids)
There’s one good thing about the first day of school. When it’s over; you’re one day closer to the last day of school.
Teacher: I’m your teacher this year. My name is Mr. Jokes. Can you all remember that? Student: If we can’t, we’re going to have one hard time with the 9 times tables. (Math Jokes for Kids)
Why is 6 afraid of 7 on the 1st day of school?… Because 7 8 (ate) 9! (Math Jokes for Kids)
On the first day of school, what did the teacher say her three favorite words were?… June, July & August. (Summer Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
Why was the school cafeteria clock behind on the first day of school?… It went back four seconds. (Daylight Savings Jokes)
What did the buffalo dad say at drop off on the 1st day of school?… Bison.
Why did the kindergartener bring a spoon to his first day of school?… He thought it was sundae school. (Kindergarten Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
How can you make the first day of school fly by?… Throw a clock! (Back to School Jokes)
Why did the Cyclops teacher have such an easy first day of school?… He only had one pupil. (Biology Jokes)
How do bees get to school on the 1st day?… By school buzz! (Bee Jokes)
Teachers always seem happy on the first day of school…. That’s because they’re getting paid to be there. The kids have to do it for free. (Teacher Jokes)
Why was the geometry book so adorable to the students on the 1st day of school?… Because it had acute angles. (Math Jokes for Kids)
What do sheep do to celebrate the first day of school?… Have a baa-baa-cue. (Sheep Jokes)
What did the librarian say to the vegetables on the 1st day of school?… Quiet peas. (Library Jokes & Farming Jokes)
What did the girl say to her math book on the 1st day of school?… Some day, you’re going to have to solve your own problems. (Math Jokes for Kids)
Mother: “What did you learn on the 1st day of school?” Son: “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.” (Mother’s Day Jokes)
Show me a kid who likes the first day at school and I’ll show you a kid who likes to get his lip caught under a manhole cover.
What does a school book do on the 1st day?… Puts on a jacket. (Book Jokes & Winter Jokes / Spring Jokes / Fall Jokes)
What school do kids who love ice cream go to on the 1st day of school?… Sundae school – because of all the ice cream!
Teacher: I’ll be your teacher this year. Does anybody here know my name? Student: How do you like that? It’s only the first day of school and already we’re having a quiz.
Student: Teacher, I don’t have a pencil. Teacher: I want you to write 100 times, “I will come to school prepared.” Student: With what?
Mother: I want to help you pick out your new school outfits because I want you to buy clothes that last. Son: Mom, the clothes you pick out will last forever because I’m never going to wear them.
Student: “Teacher, may I leave the room?” Teacher: “Well, you certainly can’t take it with you.”
Which class was the caterpillar excited about on his first day in school?…Mothematics. (Math Jokes for Kids)
Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4 ! B-4 who?… B-4 you go to school, brush your teeth! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
Knock, knock…. Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys the 1st day of school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
What is the first thing a little gorilla learns in school?… The Ape B C’s. (Elementary School Jokes)
Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class today, son?… Son: How to talk without moving lips, mom. (Mother’s Day Jokes)
Why did the math book look so sad on the 1st day of school?… Because it had so many problems. (Math Jokes for Kids)
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning. Class: Hooray! Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon. (Math Jokes for Kids)
Teacher: I see you missed the first day of school. Student: Yes, but I didn’t miss it much.
Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with “t”. Student: Today and Tomorrow. (Teacher Jokes)
What treat do math teachers in Maine bring to the first day of class?… Whoopie Pi’s. (Pi Day Jokes & Maine Jokes)
It was the first day of school. As the principal made his rounds, he heard a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms. He rushed in and spotted one boy, taller than the others, who seemed to be making the most noise. He seized the lad, dragged him into the hall, and told him to wait there until he was excused. Returning to the classroom, the principal restored order and lectured the class for half an hour about the importance of good behavior. “Now,” he said, “are there any questions?” One girl stood up timidly. “Please, sir,” she asked, “may we have our teacher back?” (Principal Jokes)
Where does a giant go on the 1st day of school?… High school. (High School Jokes)
What does a school computer have for lunch on the 1st day of school?… Has a byte! (Computer Jokes)
What is a math teacher’s favorite season?… Sum-mer. (Math Jokes for Kids & Summer Jokes)
What’s the king of all school supplies?… The ruler. (180 School Jokes)
What did the paper say to the pencil on the 1st day of school?… Write on! (Pencil Jokes for Kids)
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. ‘Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school’ ‘But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.’ ‘Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.’ ‘Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!’ ‘Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.’ ‘Give me two reasons why I should go to school.’ ‘Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the teacher!’ (Teacher Jokes & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
Why did the boy go to school with his pants tucked into his socks?… To protect himself from mathema-ticks. (Math Jokes for Kids)
Knock, Knock!… Who’s there?… Jess!… Jess Who?… Jess (just) wait till I tell you about my first day back to school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. ‘Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school’ ‘But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.’ ‘Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.’ ‘Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!’ ‘Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.’ ‘Give me two reasons why I should go to school.’ ‘Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the principal!’ (Teacher Jokes & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
How does a elementary school science teacher freshen her breath on the 1st day of school?… With experi-mints! (Middle School Jokes & Science Jokes)
How does a middle school science teacher freshen her breath?… With experi-mints! (Middle School Jokes & Science Jokes)
Why did the kid cross the playground?… To get to the other slide.
How does a high school science teacher freshen her breath?… With experi-mints! (Middle School Jokes & Science Jokes)
What should you grow in a school garden?… Human beans! (Flower Jokes)
How do you get straight A’s?… By using a ruler!
Knock Knock…Who is there?… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you go to school, Kiss your dad good-bye! (Teacher Jokes)
WATSON: What school did you go to on the 1st day, Holmes? SHERLOCK: Elementary, my dear Watson! (Elementary School Jokes)
Why don’t you see giraffes in middle school?… Because they’re all in High School. (Elementary School Jokes / Giraffe Jokes / High School Jokes)
Why did the chemistry book look so sad on the 1st day of school?… Because it had so many problems. (Math Jokes for Kids)
Why did the science book look so sad on the 1st day of school?… Because it had so many problems. (Math Jokes for Kids)
Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… Pencil… Pencil who?… Never mind, this is pointless. (Pencil Jokes for Kids)
Why was school easier for cave people?… Because there was no history to study! (US History Jokes)
I love school supplies. If only there were some other place we could use them besides school.
A student came into his kindergarten class with a squirming worm. “What are you doing with that disgusting worm?” asked his teacher.“We were playing outside and I thought I’d show him my kindergarten.” the student replied. (Elementary School Jokes)
Son: I’m not going back to school ever again! Mother: Why not? Son: The teacher doesn’t know a thing, all she does is ask questions!
Son: I won a prize in kindergarten today. The teacher asked me how many legs a hippopotamus had. I said three. Father: Three? How on earth did you win the prize? Son: I came the closest. (Elementary School Jokes)

Jokes for the 1st Day of School

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