Hiking Jokes for Kids

by | May 28, 2019 | School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best hiking jokes.
  2. I just made a playlist for hiking in California. It consists of Peanuts, Eminem, California Raisins and The Cranberries… I call it my Trail Mix. (California Jokes / Music Jokes / Hiking Jokes / Peanut Jokes)
  3. Where do apples like to go hiking?… Mount Fuji. (Apple Jokes)
  4. What kind of jacket do you wear on a hike?… A trail blazer! (Oregon Jokes)
  5. Moles over dramatize everything… They make mountains out of mole hills. (Mole Jokes)
  6. Why was the book about mountains so interesting?… Because it had so many cliff-hangers. (Book Jokes)
  7. My father asked me how my last hike went. I told him, “It had its ups and downs.” (Dad Jokes)
  8. Who should carry the bear mace when hiking with friends?… The slowest runner. (Bear Jokes)
  9. My friend and I were hiking. Me: “That’s a huge rock over there!” Him: “Boulder.” Me: “THAT’S A HUGE ROCK OVER THERE.” (Colorado Jokes)
  10. Two men are hiking through the woods when one of them cries out, “Snake! Run!” His companion laughs at him. “Oh, relax. It’s only a baby,” he says. “Don’t you hear the rattle?” (Snake Jokes & Baby Jokes)
  11. Did hear the mountain joke?… You won’t get over it! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  12. On a hike today the mosquitoes were relentless… They were really out for blood.
  13. When do you need an umbrella for hiking?… When you’re climbing Mt. Rain-ier. (Hiking Jokes & Rain Jokes)
  14. Phil Jackson took the Chicago Bulls on a hike to climb a mountain… He wanted them to have a higher basketball IQ. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
  15. What do football centers wear on their feet?… Hiking shoes. (Football Jokes)
  16. Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?… The coach told him to take a hike! (Football Jokes)
  17. Why did the science teacher take his class on a field trip to the mountains? … They needed higher grades. (Field Trip Jokes)
  18. What do you call a bee that falls down a hill while hiking?… A stumble bee. (Bee Jokes)
  19. If you aren’t cracking a smile while hiking on the mountain… then you need to have a little change in altitude! (Smile Jokes)
  20. Which mountain conserves energy all of the time?… Mount Ever rest.
  21. How did Harry Potter get down the hill?… Walking. JK, rolling. (Walking Jokes & Hiking Jokes)
  22. How come the Ghostbusters never made it very far in Oregon Trail?… They refused to cross streams. (Oregon Jokes & Ghost Jokes)
  23. How do fleas travel from place to place?… By itch-hiking! (Dog Jokes)
  24. What is a Colorado clouds favorite drink?… Mountain Dew. (Colorado Jokes & Skiing Jokes)
  25. What is a mountains favorite type of candy?… Snow caps. (Hiking Jokes & Candy Jokes)
  26. Why wasn’t drinking permitted on the Oregon trail?… It was important not to fall off the wagon. (Oregon Jokes & Beer Jokes)
  27. How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?… When it was full!
  28. Do you want a brief explanation of an acorn?… In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.
  29. What do you give a sick bird?… Tweetment.
  30. How did the egg get up the mountain?… It scrambled up!
  31. Why did the bear dissolve in water?… Because it was polar.
  32. What is a snake’s favorite class?… Hissss-tory! (Social Studies Jokes & Snake Jokes)
  33. At one point, I couldn’t decide which of the two trails in front of me to take. In order to avoid a trail mix-up, I consulted my map.
  34. How much does Avogadro exaggerate?… He makes mountains out of mole hills. (Mole Day Jokes)
  35. What did the snow say to the Rocky Mountains?… I’ve got you covered. (Hiking Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each State)
  36. I complained to my father, “This hike is taking too long.” He responded, “Rushmore and we’ll get there faster.” (South Dakota Jokes)
  37. Why are people who go hiking on April 1 always tired?… Because they just finished a 31 day March! (Spring Jokes for Kids & Camping Jokes for Kids)
  38. How would you describe the views a peppermint gets while looking at the mountains at summer camp?… Breath Taking! (Summer Camp Jokes)
  39. How did the egg get up the mountain?… It scrambled up! (Egg Jokes for Kids)
  40. How do crazy hikers get out of the forest?… They take the psychopath.
  41. Why do you bring someone is worse shape than you hiking?… In case the bears show up!
  42. What did the guide tell the hikers when he needed to take a break from his job?… May the forest be with you.
  43. Why do these mountains make people laugh?… Because they’re hill areas.
  44. My friend was telling me about her hike and I asked her if the views were nice. She said ‘pretty decent.’I responded ‘What about the ascent?’
  45. When I asked my father for directions to the hilltop for our picnic, he replied, “Let me summit up for you.”
  46. The guide told me the best place to have lunch is when we find a fork in the path.
  47. You thought going uphill was a struggle, but once we arrive at the peak, it will be all downhill from there.
  48. After lunch was over, my father told me he was ready to get back on the trail, so I told him to go take a hike.
  49. Did you ever hear the joke about the mountains?… It was hill areas.
  50. Throwing the rock back on the ground was easy for my father because he wasn’t sedimental.
  51. My dad could hike all day, while my mom always wanted to stop forest.
  52. Some people don’t like the mountains. Can you beleaf that?
  53. My father told me a joke while we were hiking. I knew I shouldn’t take him for granite, so I laughed.
  54. Hiking with someone can be an endurance test. If you can survive it together, then you can probably marry them.
  55. Side effects of hiking include sweating, blisters, and happiness.
  56. I asked my dad, “Can’t we take a break from hiking for a few minutes?” He said, “I never Ever rest.”
  57. When my favorite song came on while hiking, I felt like I was ready for a trail remix.
  58. Two guys are walking through a national park & they come across a bear that has not eaten for days. The bear sees the two men, and starts chasing them. They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, “Please turn this bear into a Christian, Lord.” He looks to see if the bear is still chasing and he sees the bear on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the bear. As he comes closer to the bear, he hears the it saying a prayer: “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive.” (Bear Jokes)
  59. Why can’t Mt. Rainier and Mt. Baker play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak. (Washington Jokes)
  60. After twelve years of carrying books to school, you’re well prepared for a career in backpacking. (Graduation Jokes)
  61. In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle a snoring tent mate.
  62. If you’re on a hike and find a fork in the road, what do you do?…Stop for lunch.
  63. How does the Grinch climb Mt. Crumpit?… grinch by grinch. (Grinch Jokes)
  64. When hiking along a reservoir a fish ran into a wall… Oh dam!
  65. What did the quarterback say to the Scout?… “Hike!”
  66. What do mountains wear to keep warm?… Snowcaps.
  67. Why did you climb onto the roof of the taqueria?… Because the manager said the fish taco was “on the house.” (Taco Jokes)
  68. When you go hiking with asthma… You’ll always find a breathtaking view.
  69. How does the Grinch descend Mt. Crumpit?… grinch by grinch. (Grinch Jokes)
  70. Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter?… They wear snowcaps. (Winter Jokes for Kids)
  71. Where does a burger go on hiking?… The Swiss (cheese) Alps! (World Geography Jokes & Hamburger Jokes)
  72. Montana… where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town’s population. (Montana Jokes)
  73. Why can’t the Grinch get down from the mountain?… You can only get down from a goose.
  74. Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter?… They wear snowcaps. (Winter Jokes)
  75. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about hiking? (Summer Olympic Knock Knock Jokes)
  76. Wood you believe that I’m actually on a hike right now?
  77. Wood you beleaf I’m going to be playing a role in a movie about nature?
  78. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good hiking knock-knock joke?
  79. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good hiking knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  80. You know, hiding from bears won’t solve your problems. Why don’t you come out and get a little boulder?
  81. Why can’t the Grinch get down from Mount Crumpit?… You can only get down from birds! (Grinch Jokes)
  82. My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60….. Now he’s 97 years old and we don’t know where he is. (Walking Jokes for Kids & Hiking Jokes)
  83. I beleaf I dropped my trail mix behind us. Wood you help me look for it?
  84. During a trail walk, I told a friend, “Using the bathroom in the woods is too uncivilized. Instead, I’m going to use the facilitrees.” She replied, “That’s just pine and oak-ay with me.”
  85. How do you start a fire using two pieces of wood?… Make sure one is a matchstick.
  86. How would you describe the views a peppermint gets while looking at the Blue Ridge Mountains?… Breath Taking! (Candy Jokes)
  87. How many hikers does it take to hike Mount Everest?… 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, “man, I could do that!” (Camping Jokes)
  88. How do mountains hear?… Mountaineers!
  89. The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling. (Music Jokes& Camping Jokes)
  90. Why did the man climb to the roof of McDonalds?… The told him the meal was on the house! (Cheeseburger Jokes for Kids)
  91. A little more altitude… a little less attitude.
  92. I asked my friend, “What are you doing?” He answered, “I’m just stopping forest.”
  93. I told my friend, “I decided to go hiking last autumn and had to trek through piles of fallen leaves.” He replied, “Unbe-leaf-able!”
  94. My father and mother were arguing about being lost. She became angry and threw the map at him. This made it a lot easier to figure out their next step.
  95. Having six toes is rare unless the sixth toe happens to be a blister.
  96. While rocks may seem a bit ordinary at times, I don’t really take them for granite.
  97. I said to my father, “Hey dad, I’m so tired of staring at all of these trees.” He replied in frustration, “Wood you please be quiet!”
  98. Why can’t the Grinch get down from the mountain?… You can only get down from a goose. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
  99. Why did the man climb to the roof of McDonalds?… The told him the meal was on the house! (Hamburger Jokes)
  100. Did you hear the one about the geologist?… He took his wife for granite so she left him! (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  101. How did the geology student drown?… His grades were below C-level.
  102. What do you call a giant hill made of kittens?… A meow-tain.
  103. What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist?… A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. (Mole Day Jokes & Chemistry Jokes)
  104. What were you saying?… I lost my terrain of thought.
  105. Why can’t Mt. Hood and Mt. Bachelor play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak. (Oregon Jokes & Ghost Jokes)
  106. These mountain jokes give me a Rushmore than others.
  107. What do you call hiking US college students?… The walking debt.
  108. Why can’t you play hide and seek with mountains?… They always peak!
  109. Did you hear that story about the biggest mountain in the world?… I couldn’t get over it.
  110. When I heard a concerning noise coming from a nearby tree, I asked it, “Are you oak-ay?” It replied back, “Oh, I’m completely pine.”
  111. To stay safe around bears, always carry a pocket knife and bring a friend… If the bear attacks, stab your friend in the leg and run!
  112. While I was stuck at home, my aunt asked me why I wasn’t going hiking. I replied, “Wood if I could.”
  113. What do you tell someone who keeps complaining about the heat as you head up a hill?… Hill out, we only have three miles left to go.
  114. What’s a mathematician’s favorite part of a mountain?… The summit.
  115. Why did Caeser go on a hike?… Because he wanted to Rome.
  116. My friend said mountain climbing would be fun… I’m inclined to agree.
  117. My mountain-climbing trips are very well planned… I’m always on top of things.
  118. How do you know what the weather is like at the top of a mountain?… You climate.
  119. There’s snow place like the mountains.
  120. When we saw another group of hikers, I told my friends, “I’m ready to trail mix and mingle.”
  121. Stopping forest every hour when you’re hiking isn’t necessary if you beleaf you can go far.
  122. What’s a supreme ruler who enjoys hiking called?… A Roamin’ Emperor.
  123. When the queen’s husband returns from climbing the mountain, she says “Hi King!”
  124. Mountains really peak my interest.
  125. The Himalayas aren’t the best mountains… but they’re definitely up there.
  126. Watson: Holmes! What kind of rock is this! Holmes: Sedimentary, my dear Watson.
  127. What do you do with a dead geologists?… Barium
  128. When one mountain looked at the other… it said nice to peak you.
  129. Go on a glacier hike?!… Norway you’ll get me to do that.
  130. Why shouldn’t you let a geologist drive your car?… Because they get hammered and stoned.
  131. Where do geologists like to relax?… In a rocking chair.
  132. What do you call an amazing day up a mountain?… “A ‘peak’ experience.”
  133. Finishing the hike was such a re-leaf.
  134. A cow’s favorite drink is Mountain Moo.
  135. Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?… They know really “dirty” jokes.
  136. Did you know that geologists are athletic?… Yeah, I read it in Quartz illustrated.
  137. Why are people who go camping on April 1 always tired?… Because they just finished a 31 day March! (Spring Jokes for Kids & Camping Jokes for Kids)
  138. My fearless friend said, “This mountain isn’t big enough for the both of us.” Being less boulder than he, I retreated back down.
  139. A cut above the Everest.
  140. When I was hiking in the woods I stumbled upon a beauty pageant jamboree… It was pretty in tents.
  141. What do you call the bumps that form on your feet when you go hiking?… Bliss-ters!
  142. I went on a hike yesterday…It peaked for the most part, but started to go downhill from there.
  143. That steep walking trail leads to an insane asylum and it’s called a psychopath.
  144. There’s a fine line between hill and hell.
  145. Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
  146. I was hiking yesterday when suddenly I ran into a cougar… Almost made me puma pants!
  147. If someone asks for my plans for today’s hike… I’ll summit up nicely.
  148. When you are sitting on a rock, you know a lot of people take these things for granite.
  149. No need to worry about the volcano – it’s not very active.
  150. Getting to the top of the hill was fun but it was all downhill from there.
  151. When he said he was an experienced trail runner, I didn’t realize he meant he trailed behind everyone else.
  152. We were determined to carry on our hike around the lake, come hill or high water.
  153. I don’t get it, the trail looked so flat on the map.
  154. What is a great U2 song for hiking?… Put on Your Boots. (Hiking Jokes)