Grammar Jokes

by | Mar 6, 2020 | Education, Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. What do you call Santa Clause after he gets divorced?… An independent Clause. (Divorce Jokes)
  2. Why is marriage not a word? A: It’s a life sentence!
  3. Teacher: What is the most common phrase used in school? Student: I don’t know! Teacher: Correct!
  4. Mr. and Mrs. Apostrophe are divorcing. He found her to be possessive and she hated his contractions… The marriage felt like a sentence.
  5. My wife and I recently divorced due to my terrible handwriting… Since then I’ve become an illegible bachelor.
  6. What do you call Santa’s siblings?… Relative clauses. (Christmas Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
  7. Why did the cheerleader get kicked out on her last day of school?… Because you can’t end on a prep position. (Cheerleading Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
  8. The past, present, and future walk into the class for the last day of school… It was tense. (Jokes for the Last Day of School)
  9. Duke students have trouble spelling “Krzyzewski.” UNC students have trouble spelling “Smith.” (World’s Best Basketball Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
  10. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best grammar jokes.
  11. Are there several ways to abbreviate Maine?… Or is it just me. (Maine Jokes)
  12. I was choking on some alphabet pasta when a lady asked if I needed help… She took the words right out of my mouth. (Pasta Jokes)
  13. What do you call an english teacher with a social media addiction?… An Instagrammar.
  14. How do you comfort a grammar teacher?… Say… “They’re, there, their.”
  15. What do you call the formal study of pasta?… Linguinistics. (Pasta Jokes)
  16. Teacher: What are two pronouns? Student: Who? Me?
  17. What dinosaur knows the most synonyms?… A Thesaurus. (Grammar Jokes & Dinosaur Jokes)
  18. What’s the difference between a comma and Crookshanks?… Crookshanks has claws at the end of his paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause. (Harry Potter Jokes)
  19. What’s the hottest letter in the alphabet?… ‘B’, because it makes oil, boil. (Heat Wave Jokes)
  20. What is the best letter to have during a heat wave?… Iced T. (Heat Wave Jokes)
  21. Why did the tapeworm stay far away from Palpatine?… He didn’t want anyone to say he was in Sidious. (Star Wars Jokes)
  22. Teacher: Give me a sentence beginning with “I.” Student: I is the… Teacher: Remember you must say “I am” not “I is.” Student: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
  23. How is an English teacher like a judge?… They both give out sentences!
  24. Student: Can I ask you a question? Teacher: You just have.
  25. Why did the teacher go to the picnic?… To learn about ant-cedents!
  26. Originally, in The Force Awakens BB-8 had a brother. The robot would not stay on script or say his lines correctly, so he was fired. It is sad… but you can’t really feel bad for DV-8. (BB-8 Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
  27. Why did the bee started talking poetry?… He was waxing lyrical!
  28. What would Obi-wan say if he was a teacher?… Metaphors be with you. (Jokes for Teachers & Grammar Jokes)
  29. When a bee writes a sonnet… it waxes poetic.
  30. What did the confused bee say?… To bee or not to bee!
  31. What do you call a penguin that has no eyes?… Pengun. (Biology Jokes for Teachers & Grammar Jokes)
  32. I had one colorblind friend who just couldn’t read Colorado… Every time it was ado for him. (Colorado Jokes)
  33. I tried making pancakes… But I ended up with flapjacks instead. I guess I used too much synonym. (Pancake Jokes)
  34. My English teacher used to quote lord of the rings to us… She used to say “you shall not pass.” (Lord of the Rings Jokes)
  35. What did the nurse say to the patient who swallowed Scrabble tiles?… Don’t worry, you’ll have a vowel movement soon. (Grammar Jokes)
  36. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about pirates? (Summer Olympic Knock Knock Jokes)
  37. Teacher: I’ll be teaching you English this year and there are two words that I will not permit on any of your writing assignments. One is “cool” and the other is “lousy.” Student: Okay, what are the words? (Jokes for the First Day of School)
  38. Why do ice-creams make great writers?… They’ve always got the inside scoop! (Ice Cream Jokes)
  39. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good pirate knock-knock joke?
  40. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good pirate knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  41. How do you find the eye of a hurricane?… Look near the c. (Hurricane Jokes)
  42. What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?… I, I, R, and the seven C’s! (Pirate Jokes)
  43. What is in the middle of a hurricane?… and “i”. (Hurricane Jokes)
  44. What is the safest place during an earthquake?… A stationary store. (Earthquake Jokes)
  45. What is an earthquake during ‘Romeo And Juliet’ called?… A Shakesperience. (Earthquake Jokes)
  46. What do you call an earthquake during a production of Hamlet?… A Shakesperience. (Earthquake Jokes)
  47. Why are earthquakes great journalists?… They have mastered the art of breaking news. (Earthquake Jokes)
  48. “You can’t run through a campsite. You can only ran…because it’s past tents.” (Camping Jokes & Track and Field Jokes)
  49. What four words solve Dad’s every problem?… Go ask your mother. (Father’s Day Jokes for Kids)
  50. Teacher: Please use the word “account” in a sentence. Student: Sure. “On account of three, we’ll start the race.” (Grammar Jokes & Summer Olympic Jokes)
  51. Which poet liked earthquakes?… Shakespeare. (Earthquake Jokes)
  53. When does a dad joke become a dad joke?… When it becomes apparent. (Father’s Day Jokes)
  54. What did the paper say to the pencil?… Write on! (Pencil Jokes)
  55. There’s a big difference between bad jokes and dad jokes… first letter. (Grammar Jokes & Funny Dad Jokes)
  56. I once fell in love with someone who only knew 4 vowels. They didn’t know I existed. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  57. We will never see Super Bowl LIVE… E is not a Roman Numeral. (Math Jokes for Teachers & Super Bowl Jokes)
  58. What do you call pizza, pop, and popcorn?… An alliterated lunch. (Pizza Jokes & Popcorn Jokes)
  59. “I told one player, ‘Son, I can’t understand it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.’” Frank Layden (March Madness Jokes)
  60. “He’s great on the court,” a sportswriter said of a college basketball player in an interview with his coach. “But’s how’s his scholastic work?” “Why, he makes straight A’s,” replied the coach. “Wonderful!” said the sportswriter. “Yes,” agreed the coach, “but his B’s are a little crooked.(March Madness Jokes)
  61. Duke fans have trouble spelling “Krzyzewski.” UNC fans have trouble spelling “Williams.” (March Madness Jokes)
  62. Student: Can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: It’s may. Student: No, it’s January! (Teacher Jokes / January Jokes for Teachers / Grammar Jokes)
  63. A historian, a journalist, and a political scientist walk into a bar on January 23, 1993… [Citation Needed] (Social Studies Jokes)
  64. March is the only month, that’s a name, a verb, and a noun. (Grammar Jokes)
  65. March can be a month or an order! (Grammar Jokes)
  66. What’s in the middle of the Pacific (Ocean)?… Letter C (or E)! (Ocean Jokes)
  67. A waiter approaches a table celebrating their daughters graduation…Father: Our daughter just graduated from SCU with an English degree! Waiter: That’s so great! Congratulations! I actually have a Master’s degree in English Literature myself. Can I get you folks started with some chips and salsa? (Cinco De Mayo Jokes)
  68. There’s a place where January comes after February and December comes before September… It’s the dictionary! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Grammar Jokes)
  69. What comes at the end of January?… “Y.” (January Jokes)
  70. What do you have in December that you don’t have in January?… The letter D. (Grammar Jokes)
  71. Top 10 New Year’s Day Jokes:What comes at the start of January?… “J.” (New Year’s Day Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
  72. I got food poisoning from a can of Spaghetti-O’s…. It was the most painful vowel movement of my life. (Spaghetti Jokes)
  73. Why couldn’t the Grinch steal Christmas?… Because of the Santa clause.  (Grinch Jokes & Police Jokes)
  74. What do you call Santa’s helpers?… Subordinate Clauses. (Christmas Jokes for Teachers)
  75. Son to mother after 1st day of school. “Nothing exciting happened except the teacher didn’t know how to spell cat, so I told her.” (Back to School Jokes & Cat Jokes )
  76. What state asks the most questions?… “Why” oming! (Wyoming Jokes)
  77. What is the longest word in the English Dictionary?… Smiles because there is a mile between the first letter and the last. ((Smile Jokes & Track Jokes)
  78. Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object? Student: You are pretty. Teacher: What’s the direct object? Student: A good report card. (Middle School Jokes)
  79. Why did the pirate fail his spelling class?…. Because he insisted there were seven ‘C’s. (Deos Selplnig Ralely Mtetar? / Spelling Lists / Ocean Jokes / Pirate Jokes)
  80. How do ye turn a pirate furious?… Take away the “p.” (Pirate Jokes)
  81. Why do dogs like conjunctions?… They just love buts. (Dog Jokes)
  82. What do you call Santa’s helpers?… Subordinate Clauses. (Christmas Jokes)
  83. What’s the difference between someone who doesn’t understand figures of speech, and the Grinch?… The first takes things literally. The other takes things, literally! (Grinch Jokes)
  84. What do you do if a dog chews your dictionary?… Take the words right out of his mouth! (Dog Jokes)
  85. Graduation: where you trade the agony of writing term papers for the agony of writing resumes. (Graduation Jokes)
  86. What’s the difference between someone who doesn’t understand figures of speech, and the Grinch?… The first takes things literally. The other takes things, literally! (Grinch Jokes)
  87. There’s a place where January comes after February and December comes before September It’s the dictionary! (Grammar Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  88. Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,” Little Johnny wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”
  89. What do you call a pilgrim’s vocabulary?… Pilgrammar. (Pilgrim Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
  90. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?… a thesaurus. (Dinosaur Jokes)
  91. “You can’t run through a campsite. You can only ran…because it’s past tents.” (Camping Jokes & Track Jokes)
  92. Why did the hockey player keep getting talked to by his English teacher?… He kept putting 3 periods at the end of each sentence. (Hockey Jokes)
  93. What do people who love to brag on themselves at summer camp carry their papers in?… A GLOATbook! (Summer Camp Jokes)
  94. What is the difference between a comma and the Cat in the Hat?… One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. (Grammar Jokes & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
  95. Why are ants bad at spelling?… They only know Conson-ants. (Ant Jokes)
  96. Have you seen the picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved… It’s completely unprecedented. (Presidents’ Day Jokes & South Dakota Jokes)
  97. What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?… An independant. (Ant Jokes)
  98. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?… Smartie Pants!
  99. A waiter approaches a table celebrating their daughters graduation…Father: Our daughter just graduated from SCU with an English degree! Waiter: That’s so great! Congratulations! I actually have a Master’s degree in English Literature myself. Can I get you folks started with some chips and salsa? (Graduation Jokes & Cinco De Mayo Jokes)
  100. What’s another name for Santa’s elves?… Subordinate Clauses. (Christmas Jokes)
  101. I don’t find medical puns funny anymore since I developed an irony deficiency. (Nurse Jokes)
  102. What is Black and white and read (red) all over?… A newspaper.
  103. What’s the best way to make Easter easier?… Put an “i” where the “t” is. (Easter Jokes)
  104. What does an English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?… To be or not to be roasted, that is the question. (Turkey Jokes)
  105. How does Easter end?…With an “R”! (Easter Jokes)
  106. What does the writer suffer from each spring?… A case of allegories. (Spring Jokes)
  107. Can you name the capital of Oregon?… “O” (Oregon Jokes)
  108. A hurricane tore off a quarter of my roof… Now all I have is a Roo. (Grammar Jokes)
  109. A hurricane tore off a half of my roof… Now all I have is a of. (Grammar Jokes)
  110. Can you name the capitol of Oklahoma?… “O” (Oklahoma Jokes)