Graduation Jokes for Kids

by | May 2, 2019 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best graduation jokes in the WORLD! (Graduation Knock Knock Jokes)
  2. It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. “Let’s try to make this look natural” she said. “Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder.” The father answered, “If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?” (Father’s Day Jokes for Kids & Dad Jokes)
  3. “I have two college degrees, four honorary doctorate degrees, and am in three Halls of fame, and the only thing I know how to do is teach tall people how to put a ball in the hole.” Red Auerbach (Boston Celtics Jokes)
  4. After Graduating from High School, A son moves away from home to study at University. One of his letters home reads: Dear Father, University i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on. After receiving his son’s letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back. Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad (Dad Jokes)
  5. College is similar to high school… To a degree. (College Jokes & Graduation Jokes)
  6. “When they hand you your diploma, keep moving. Just in case they try to take it back.”
  7. Spring Fever: Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped a final exam needed to graduate . After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said, “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper.” Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said: “First Question: Which tire was flat?” (Spring Jokes)
  8.  “I think I proved something very important at high school graduation: that I could walk and chew gum at the same time.” – Melanie White (Gum Jokes & Walking Jokes)
  9. What school requires you to drop out in order to graduate?… Sky diving school.
  10. The corn will graduate from college tomorrow… We should attend the ceremony and corn-gratulate him! (College Jokes & Corn Jokes)
  11. The best student at the corn college is called the a-corn. (College Jokes & Graduation Jokes)
  12. Teacher: Where did your mom graduate from high school? Student: Alaska. Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. (Mother’s Day Jokes & Alaska Jokes)
  13. Name a bus you can never enter?… A syllabus. (College Jokes & Graduation Jokes)
  14. What kind of school do you graduate from if you’re a giant?… High school. (High School Jokes & High School Graduation Jokes)
  15. Graduation: The tassel was worth the hassle.
  16. I went to an ocean themed graduation party… It was a whale of a time. (Whale Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  17. What do you tell a bag of popcorn after it graduates from college?… Corn-gratulations. (College Jokes & Popcorn Jokes)
  18. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good graduation joke? (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Graduation Knock Knock Jokes)
  19. Class of 2020: When my future children ask me about my high school graduation… And how I answer: “The graduation was great! But the reception was terrible.” (Covid Jokes & High School Graduation Jokes)
  20. I was surprised when a friend said he’ll work at KFC right after graduation.. Out of curiosity, I asked him why. All he said was, “It’s on my bucket list.” (Fast Food Jokes)
  21. After twelve years of carrying books to school… you’re well prepared for a career in backpacking. (Hiking Jokes & Camping Jokes)
  22. I ordered a graduation cake for my son.The baker asked me what I wanted it to say. Wow, talking cakes, who knew? (Cake Jokes)
  23. Why did everyone think the valedictorian was so charming?… He was known to be a class act. (High School Jokes & High School Graduation Jokes)
  24. I didn’t graduate with honors. I was honored just to graduate. – Melanie White (High School Jokes & High School Graduation Jokes)
  25. Why did Christopher Columbus say his compasses and scales were intelligent?… Because they all graduated. (Columbus Day Jokes)
  26. My son just graduated from college. My friends asked me what he majored in. I told them he was studying to be an astronaut: he took up space. (Astronomy Jokes)
  27. What happened when the girl didn’t pass her final exam for her cosmetology degree?… She had to sign up for makeup classes.
  28. Teacher: Where did your mom graduate from college? Student: Alaska. Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. (Mother’s Day Jokes / College Graduation Jokes / Alaska Jokes)
  29. Why didn’t the new college course on flying become popular?… Nobody saw it taking off. (Pilot Jokes & Plane Jokes)
  30. My college graduation was held inside the basketball arena and man was it hot…. It must have been like 5,000 degrees in there. (Basketball Jokes)
  31. A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.
  32. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you take the diploma, shake the principal’s hand. (Principal Jokes for Kids)
  33. What did the graduate say when his mom asked him why he didn’t pick up his phone at his graduation?… I couldn’t pick up because the reception was horrible.
  34. I used to get into fights at the drop of a hat… Which is probably why I got fired from my job as a graduation photographer. (Labor Day Jokes & Hat Jokes)
  35. What do you get when you complete science class?… A graduated cylinder. (Chemistry Jokes for Kids & Chemistry Jokes for Teachers)
  36. What did my puppy receive after he graduated from college?… His pedigree. (College Graduation Jokes & Puppy Jokes)
  37. My 10 year high school reunion was this weekend… I ran into these twin brothers I hadn’t seen since graduation, and I thought to myself.. “Well, you two still look the same.” (College Jokes / High School Jokes / Twin Jokes)
  38. It’s tough out there, but if you take your education and apply yourselves, you will eventually succeed in finding…..an unpaid internship! (Career Blogs)
  39. What do you call it if a math major can’t seem to hold down a job after their graduation?… It’s just a horrible after-math of the situation. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  40. What did the swordfish say to the marlin on graduation day?… Looking sharp! (Fish Jokes)
  41. Why did the graduate bury all his money?…. to make his soil rich! (Farming Jokes)
  42. Why did the graduate put his money in the freezer? … He wanted cold hard cash!
  43. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys graduation day! (Graduation Knock Knock Jokes & Summer Jokes)
  44. Graduation Party: Knock Knock. Who’s there?…Dishes….Dishes who?… Dishes the police, come out with your hands up!! (Police Jokes for Kids)
  45. Why are graduation ceremonies so warm?… There are thousands of degrees packed in there.
  46. What did the college graduate ask when he entered his graduation ceremony?… Is it one degree hotter in here? (College Graduation Jokes)
  47. How many PhD candidates do you need to change a single light bulb?… You actually only need one, but it may take more than four years. (College Graduation Jokes)
  48. Why did one high school in the city stop organizing graduation ceremonies?… There was too much name-calling in it. (High School Jokes)
  49. Why did the fish not end up graduating?… All of his grades were under C. (Fishing Jokes)
  50. Why did one college stop organizing graduation ceremonies?… There was too much name-calling in it. (College Graduation Jokes)
  51. Why did all the flight school students prefer to study in the airplane compared to on the ground?… They wanted to get high grades in their final exam. (Pilot Jokes & Plane Jokes)
  52. What happened when they found out about the kidnapping in the senior’s auditorium?… They woke him up. (Napping Jokes)
  53. What state has the loudest graduations?… ILL-I-NOISE! (Top U.S. State Jokes)
  54. Graduation: Where you trade the agony of writing term papers for the agony of writing resumes. (Grammar Jokes)
  55. Class of 2020: When my future children ask me about my college school graduation… And how I answer: “The graduation was great! But the reception was terrible.” (College Graduation Jokes)
  56. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you take the diploma, shake the dean’s hand. (College Jokes)
  57. One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is. (Hat Jokes)
  58. A waiter approaches a table celebrating their daughters graduation…Father: Our daughter just graduated from SCU with an English degree! Waiter: That’s so great! Congratulations! I actually have a Master’s degree in English Literature myself. Can I get you folks started with some chips and salsa? (Grammar Jokes & Cinco De Mayo Jokes)
  59. What happened when they found out about the kidnapping at the college graduation?… They woke him up. (Napping Jokes)
  60. I got hit by a car on my way to my graduation… The worst part is, I had the right of passage. (Car Jokes)
  61. I’d advise you graduates to keep your graduation gown… It’s the only outfit you might not outgrow.
  62. Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. (Psychology Jokes)
  63. Graduations are so immature… You can hardly get to the end without name calling.
  64. How did the culinary graduate’s final exam go?… She says it was a piece of cake. (Cake Jokes)
  65. At my college graduation I saw a bowl of fruit punch…So I told a bunch of my friends “I want to make a joke which requires some audience participation. “Then, I proceeded to instruct them to stand, single file, in front of the bowl. Once they had, I told them “Here’s the punch line.” (Watermelon Jokes)
  66. How do tall people graduate?… They graduate top of their class.
  67. Class of 2020: When my future children ask me about my middle school graduation… And how I answer: “The graduation was great! But the reception was terrible.” (Covid Jokes)
  68. Why did the M&M want to graduate college?… Because he wanted to be a Smarty. (Candy Jokes for Kids)
  69. Why didn’t the sun graduate college?… Because it already had a million degrees! (College Jokes & Sun Jokes)
  70. A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom – I’ll show you how.”
  71. My high school graduation was held inside the basketball arena and man was it hot…. It must have been like 5,000 degrees in there. (Basketball Jokes)
  72. Why did the students study in the airplane?…. Because they wanted higher grades. (Pilot Jokes for Kids)
  73. Graduation was the first time that the school actually gave me something I wanted to read. – Melanie White (Book Jokes)
  74. What did the high school graduate ask when he entered his graduation ceremony?… Is it one degree hotter in here? (High School Jokes & High School Graduation Jokes)
  75. How did the student graduate at the top of his class with a major like Chemistry?… I think he felt like he was finally in his element. (Chemistry Jokes & Chemistry Jokes for Teachers)
  76. LinkedIn is the worst dating app… All people want to talk about is work and what I plan on doing after graduation. (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  77. Why didn’t the pirate make it to the dean’s list when he graduated?… All of his scores were in the C’s. (Pirate Jokes)
  78. Did you hear about the statistics major who ended up homeless when they couldn’t find a job after graduation?… It was a real bad after-math. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  79. What happened when they found out about the kidnapping at the high school graduation?… They woke him up. (Napping Jokes & High School Graduation Jokes)
  80. Why was the baker so excited to go to the graduation party being hosted by her parents?… She was excited because she knew that she was going to have to make a toast. (Toast Jokes)
  81. The ice breaker I used for my graduation speech today… What do you call the speed of an herbal beverage at any given time?… Veloci-tea. (Tea Jokes)
  82. What did the herb say to his friends when he finally graduated from college with a degree in event management?… It is now my thyme to party! (Farming Jokes)
  83. What did the mother whale say to her daughter when she graduated from college?… You’ve done so whale, I couldn’t be more proud. (Whale Jokes)
  84. “If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.” Conan O’Brien
  85. The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
  86. What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School?… A law-botomy. (Lawyer Jokes)
  87. How many college graduates does it take to change a light bulb?… One, but it may take up to seven years! (College Jokes)
  88. Why do all the students bring ladders to ninth grade?… They’re in high school now. (High School Jokes & High School Graduation Jokes)
  89. Why did the high school senior chuck his watch out the window?… He wished that time would fly. (High School Jokes & High School Graduation Jokes)
  90. What faculty member was friends with all the seniors?… The princi-pal. (Principal Jokes)
  91. Where did the ice-cream man graduate high school from?… Sundae school. (Ice Cream Jokes / High School Jokes / High School Graduation Jokes)
  92. Why did a broom not graduate from high school?… He was sweeping in the classes.
  93. Why was the bread senior such a good student?… He was always on the honor roll. (Bread Jokes)
  94. Why did the high school senior not want to attend his prom? He thought the punch line was going to be too long.
  95. What did the clothes designer say to her son at his graduation?… “I’m Prada you son.” (World Geography Jokes)
  96. At my high school graduation I saw a bowl of fruit punch…So I told a bunch of my friends “I want to make a joke which requires some audience participation.”Then, I proceeded to instruct them to stand, single file, in front of the bowl. Once they had, I told them “Here’s the punch line.” (High School Graduation Jokes)
  97. You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate. So now you’re leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure – and the biggest challenge – of your young lives: moving back in with your parents.
  98. Why was the high school senior so excited to become a pilot?… He wanted to pursue higher education. (Labor Day Jokes & Pilot Jokes)
  99. What did the principal give at the end of the culinary school convocation?… He gave a stirring tribute.
  100. After 72 years since not completing her college course, my Grandma finally went back and earned her very first diploma……I asked her what will she be wearing for her graduation ceremony and she said depends. (Grandparent Jokes)
  101. Why didn’t the skeleton go to graduation?… Cause he had ‘no body’ to go with. (Skeleton Jokes)
  102. When I graduated from high school, I was so poor and couldn’t afford college. So my parents sent me to dog training school. I learned a lot when I was there. Sit, stay, roll over. I haven’t quite got the fetching part down. They say I’m a little rough around the edges. (Dog Jokes)
  103. I’ll be honest. I did not graduate at the top of my class. In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail. (Sheep Jokes)
  104. Why do all the bad high school seniors carry scissors?… They love to cut class. (High School Jokes)
  105. When I finished high school I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18, and I could just have his motorcycle. (High School Graduation Jokes)
  106. I will never forget my daughter’s words to me at her graduation…”Wow dad. After 18 years you decide to come back…” (Father’s Day Jokes)
  107. Puppy deserves a paw-fect graduation… It’s ruff to get a degree.
  108. What do you buy a friend graduating from University of Hawaii Law School?… A lobotomy.
  109. While watching graduation, I like to think all my students have the same potential. However, when shaking their hands afterwards, I really felt that wasn’t true… It was quite shocking!
  110. “What would you call a vessel filled with college graduates?… It would be a scholarship.
  111. Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour. (Movie Jokes)
  112. What did the dessert say when he realized he was going to see his friends at his convocation for the last time?… I donut want to graduate. (Donut Jokes)
  113. I spent my time during graduation pretty much the same way I spent it in class… sleeping.- Melanie White
  114. What school teaches you how to greet people?… Hi School. (High School Jokes)
  115. Why did the college professor have to wear a pair of sunglasses when he was standing next to all the graduate students that were on the dean’s list?… They were all really bright.
  116. What did the bay leaf tell his friends when he became the class valedictorian?… I can’t beleaf I made it this far. (Tree Jokes)
  117. Why did Christopher Columbus say his compasses and scales were intelligent?… Because they were all graduated. (College Jokes & Columbus Day Jokes)
  118. Which did Columbus say was smarter, longitude or latitude?… Longitude, because it has 360 degrees. (College Jokes & Columbus Day Jokes)
  119. What did the turkey say to the vegetable when she got a degree from culinary school?… I yam in awe of your talent. (Turkey Jokes)
  120. What did the father say to his son, the lightbulb, when he was receiving his degree in Optical and Imaging technologies?… You have a very bright future ahead of you. (Dad Jokes)
  121. What should you mention to someone who has just graduated from college?… Con-grad-ulations on your degree!
  122. What is a graduated cylinder supposed to measure?… He’s meant to measure the amount of degrees that are present.
  123. Why doesn’t the soda graduate like ranking beverages with carbon at work?… He feels like the job is so-da grading. (Labor Day Jokes)
  124. What degree do wizards graduate in?… Defense Against the Liberal Arts Degree. (Harry Potter Jokes)
  125. What did the relieved college senior say to his friends when he received a passing grade on his final exam?… I’m grad that I’m finally done with that exam and with college.
  126. How did that one college have more than 50% of the graduating class in the country’s top percentile?… All the professors had their faculties intact.
  127. Why was the college graduate so sad when he graduated from college?… He’d never found a bunch of mates he could clique with.
  128. What happened when two seniors were sent to detention for making some horrible puns?… They were pun-ished.
  129. Why was a married man not allowed to complete his undergraduate degree?… Because he wasn’t a bachelor. (Wedding Jokes)
  130. Why didn’t the senior skeleton attend prom?… He had no-body to dance with. (Skeleton Jokes)
  131. Why did the high school teacher lose her job?… Her pupils were out of control. (Labor Day Jokes)
  132. What subject was a common favorite among the snake high school seniors?… Most of them loved hiss-tory. (Snake Jokes)
  133. How did the high school senior make straight A’s?… He used a ruler. (High School Jokes)
  134. How did the high school senior get trapped inside of band class?… He forgot the keys inside the piano. (Piano Jokes)
  135. What did the buffalo say when he dropped off his son for his last day of high school?… Bison.
  136. What did the buffalo say when he dropped off his son for his last day of collegel?… Bison.
  137. Where did the surfer complete his high school graduation from?… Boarding school.
  138. Why was the high school senior so shocked by the speed by which time flew?… He hadn’t thought it would Zoom by this fast.
  139. How did the magician ace all of his tests in senior year?… He was really good with trick questions.
  140. Why was the high school senior buying lots of detergents?… He wanted to get ready for his college freshers ahead of time.
  141. What group does the high school faculty fear the most?… The senior student’s union.
  142. Why are all high school seniors, great scriptwriters?… Everyone has their own tran-script.
  143. What do high school seniors play with in their free time? The dis-play board.
  144. What do high school seniors use to pay off their debt?… Extra credit.
  145. What is the one senior event that eliminates home-sickness for seniors in boarding school?… Homecoming.
  146. What do all the TV seniors wear at their graduation ceremony?… They all carry honor cords around.
  147. What event were all the CD seniors excited for?.. P-rom.
  148. Why does everyone think of all the whiteboard seniors?… They’re pretty remarkable.
  149. Why did the high school seniors decide not to make a belt out of watches for senior prank day?… They felt that it was going to be a waist of time.
  150. Why was the high school senior going broke?… Nothing he did made cents.
  151. What did the high school senior do when he realized he was suffering from kleptomania?… He started taking something for it.
  152. What did the high school student who was afraid of negative numbers do when he realized his fear?… He stopped at nothing to avoid them.
  153. What did the high school senior do in the humorous theatre performance?… He was part of a play on words.
  154. Why was the high school senior who wanted to be an architect so good at planning?… His plans were always concrete.
  155. Why was one senior always sleeping?… He was preparing for a dream job.
  156. Why did one high school senior wear glasses in all of his math classes?… Because it improved di-vision.
  157. Why does every student in their last year of high school need to learn sign language?… It comes in handy in real life.
  158. How did the boiled egg become the class valedictorian at his high school graduation?… Everyone found him hard to beat.
  159. Why did one high school student fail his Braille class?… He found it to be a touchy subject.
  160. How did the shovel get a full-ride scholarship to her dream school?… She invented something ground-breaking in college.
  161. Dude, I have no idea how to write my graduation composition. Do you have any hint?””Why don’t you try coping professor X’s piece he wrote when getting his D.A.?””I did. It turned out to be Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony.”
  162. How did the senior in high school trip over his fallen books?… He could only blame himshelf.
  163. How did all of King Arthur’s tired men graduate from high school with good grades?… They had a lot of sleepless knights.
  164. When I graduated from high school, I was so poor and couldn’t afford college. So my parents sent me to dog training school. I learned a lot when I was there. Sit, stay, roll over. I haven’t quite got the fetching part down. They say I’m a little rough around the edges.
  165. What did the frog senior do part-time in high school?… He worked as a bellhop.
  166. Why did half of the cats in the senior class get expelled?… They were found to be cheetahs.
  167. How do all the bee high school seniors travel to public school?… They all take a buzz.
  168. Why did none of the paper seniors end up graduating from high school?… Their essays were tearable.
  169. What did the vampire say at his high school graduation?… I would like to fang everyone for supporting me.
  170. My wife saw her ex high school boyfriend, drunk in the street. She said he started drinking when she broke up with him after graduation decades ago. I said…. ….Impressive. .. I’ve never seen anyone celebrate that long before.
  171. I guess the Tupperware lids in my house just graduate and go off to college or something.
  172. Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.