Beer Jokes

by | Jan 28, 2020 | Education, Guest Blog, Latest News | 0 comments

My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Find qualified tutors in your area today!

Top Joke Pages: 

  1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best beer jokes.
  2. Three Freudians go into a bar… The bartender asks for some id. (Psychology Jokes)
  3. Grandkid: “Does beer make you smarter?” Grandparent: “No, but it made Budweiser.” (Grandparent Jokes)
  4. Where is the best place to grab a beer on Cape Cod?… BREWster. 
  5. “My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses.  Drinks right out of the bottle.” Henry Youngman (Grandparent Jokes)
  6. Happy Leap Day! I have an 84-year-old friend who is celebrating his 21st birthday today. He can finally drink alcohol legally!
  7. What do they say at the divorced people’s bar?… You don’t have to stay here, but you can’t go home. (Divorce Jokes)
  8. What does kayaking have in common with light beer?… They are both close to water. (Canoe Jokes) Top 50 Canoe Jokes
  9. What is a beer enthusiast’s favorite kind of skis?… Brew-skies!! (Skiing Jokes)
  10. If coronavirus isn’t about beer… why do I keep seeing cases of it?
  11. How do Americans celebrate Bastille Day?… By storming their wine cellar.
  12. Why is the French Revolution just like Prohibition?… They both got rid of Bourbon! (Bastille Day Jokes)
  13. What goes great with Corona?… Lyme disease. (Doctor Jokes & Beer Jokes)
  14. The official beer of the Coronation… Corona. (Top 50 Coronation Jokes)
  15. I found $20 outside the supermarket and I felt a little bit guilty as I picked it up, so because it’s Good Friday I thought to myself, “What would Jesus do?”… So I turned it into wine…
  16. Two gymnasts decided to go into business together and because one liked liquor and the other beer and wine, they decided they would open two pubs, one directly across the street from the other. Unfortunately they had a falling out and went out of business due to poor marketing. They never could agree on a name for the parallel bars. (Gymnastics Jokes)
  17. May your 4th of July fireworks cause less personal injury than your 4th of July alcohol consumption. (Fireworks Jokes & Beer Jokes)
  18. Is it a coincidence that the 18th amendment of the US Constitution outlawed alcohol while the 21st made it legal again?  (Constitution Jokes)
  19. Two Dragons walk into a bar. Dragon 1: It’s hot in here. Dragon 2: Shut your mouth. (Dragon Jokes)
  20. My boss made me go into the office on Labor Day. Halfway through the day, he came in to check up on me and caught me having a beer.  He said to me, “You can’t drink while you’re working.”  I said, “Oh, don’t worry – I’m not working.” (Labor Day Jokes)
  21. What kind of drink would Harry Potter order at a bar?… Something Gin-ey. (Harry Potter Jokes)
  22. How do you throw a shark out of a bar?… You cast it out. (Shark Jokes)
  23. A priest, rabbi, and minister all had to go to the hospital. Turns out, they got alcohol poisoning from going to the bar so much. (Doctor Jokes)
  24. What did Pippin do when he got drunk?… He became Merry! (101 Lord of the Rings Jokes)
  25. A penguin walks into a bar… The bartender looks up and says, “Hey, listen, these things don’t fly around here.” (Bird Jokes & Beer Jokes)
  26. This year will be the first Cinco de Mayo in a long time … When Americans try to avoid getting a case of Corona. (Covid Jokes & Beer Jokes)
  27. The only downside to Cinco de Mayo… Is Seis de Hangover.
  28. What do people drink at Club Obi-Wan?… Qui-Gon Gin. (Beer Jokes & Yoda Jokes)
  29. What’s the name of the worst cantina on Coruscant?… The Ackbar.
  30. This guy walks into a bar and says “Hey, you guys wanna hear a snowboard joke?” The bartender says, “I’m a snowboarder. The guy on your right is a snowboarder. Same with the guy on your left, and the guy behind you.” So the guy says, “OK. I’ll tell it a little more slowly then…” (Snowboarding Jokes)
  31. The Death Star’s shield generator walks into a bar. The bartender scowls and says, “Alright pal, I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
  32. What does a penguin lawyer order at a bar?… Just ice. (Lawyer Jokes & Beer Jokes)
  33. What do you call a ginger drinking a beer at the Hole 16 at the Masters?… Red Bud. (
  34. An Elf, a Dwarf, a hobbit and a Wizard walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, a joke?” (101 Lord of the Rings Jokes)
  35. What does a ginger like to have a beer at the Masters?… Hole #16 Red Bud. (Beer Jokes)
  36. What do ghosts drink on St. Patrick’s Day?… BOOs. (Beer Jokes & Ghost Jokes)
  37. A pancake, a piece of toast, and a piece of bacon walk into a bar They sit down and ask the bartender for a round of beers. The bartender looks at them and says “Get the out of my bar, we don’t serve breakfast here.” (Toast Jokes & Beer Jokes)
  38. An Elf, a Dwarf, a hobbit and a Wizard walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, a joke?” (Lord of the Rings Jokes)
  39. Knock knock…. Who’s there?… Juan… Juan who?… Juan to go out for margaritas on Cinco de Mayo? (Cinco De Mayo Knock Knock Jokes)
  40. I am giving up drinking alcohol for the month of January. Edit: I am giving up. Drinking alcohol for the month of January. (January Jokes)
  41. What did the pumpkins do at happy hour?… Let’s get smashed. (Pumpkin Jokes)
  42. What did the sign above the golf club bar say?… “Don’t drink and drive. Don’t even putt.” (Golf Jokes)
  43. A man walks into a bar and orders a Corona and two hurricanes… The bartender says that’ll be $20.20. (Covid Jokes & Beer Jokes)
  44. So bartenders are starting to make a drink called the “Hurricane Sandy”… Essentially, it’s a just a watered-down. Manhattan. (Hurricane Jokes)
  45. Why wasn’t drinking permitted on the Oregon trail?… It was important not to fall off the wagon. (Oregon Jokes)
  46. A giraffe walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says “you want a longneck?” The giraffe says “you mean I have a choice?” (Giraffe Jokes)
  47. Where did the peanuts go to have a few drinks?…  The Snack Bar! (Peanut Jokes)
  48. What did the martini say after getting hit by an earthquake?… I’m shaken but not stirred. (Earthquake Jokes)
  49. An ice cream sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.” (Ice Cream Sandwich Jokes)
  50. Where do lonely sharks go to find companionship?… Sand Bars. (Shark Jokes)
  51. A gymnast walks into a bar… and is immediately deducted 10 points. (Gymnastics Jokes)
  52. Why can’t you count on Yoda to pick up the bar tab?… Because he’s always a little short. (May the 4th Be With You Jokes)
  53. Why did the volleyball player cross the road?… There’s a teammate that is bartending at the pub, who can serve drinks that are spiked. (Volleyball Jokes)
  54. The Death Star’s shield generator walks into a bar. The bartender scowls and says, “Alright pal, I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.” (May the 4th Be With You Jokes)
  55. What’s the name of the worst cantina on Coruscant?… The Ackbar. (May the 4th Be With You Jokes)
  56. Corona didn’t need an ad in the Super Bowl for their beer…. It’s already gone viral. (Super Bowl Jokes)
  57. Did you hear about the Corona 2021 Super Bowl ad for their beer…. It’s already gone viral. (Super Bowl Jokes)
  58. A pie walks into a bar. The barman says “Sorry, we don’t serve food.” (Pie Jokes)
  59. Let’s celebrate New Year’s Eve …… by making many pour decisions! (New Year’s Eve Jokes)
  60. A priest, a rabbi, and a World Series MVP walk into a bar… The bartender stops them and says, “No no no, what is this, some kind of joke?” (Top 10 World Series Jokes)
  61. What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?… Beer Nuts are around a dollar seventy-nine, and deer nuts are just under a buck! (Black Friday Jokes & Hunting Jokes)
  62. The hamburger sits down at the bar and asks the bartender “Hey can I get a beer?” The bartender replies “Sorry we don’t serve food here.”(Hamburger Jokes)
  63. What is a Whale’s least favorite beer?… Harpoon. (Whale Jokes)
  64. I was in Germany at Octoberfest and they asked me how many beers I wanted… I said nine, but they didn’t bring me any. (World Geography Jokes & October Jokes)
  65. What is a Whale’s favorite beer?… Whale’s Tale. (Whale Jokes)
  66. Two men are sitting in a bar ‘Hey, when were you born?’ asks the first man. ‘3rd of February 1961,’ replies the second. ‘Interesting, that’s when I was born too! Where were you born?’ ‘In Seattle.’ ‘That’s weird, I was born in Seattle as well,’ exclaims the first man. ‘Where did you go to school?’> ‘I went to the Abraham Lincoln High School.’ ‘That’s incredible, I went to Lincoln High too!’ A waitress walks by. The first man grabs her arm and says: ‘Hey, listen! This guy and I were born on the same day, in the same city, and we even went to the same school! Isn’t that crazy?’ The waitress just nods and goes back behind the counter. ‘What’s up?’ asks the barman. ‘Eh, not much. The Johnson twins are wasted again…’
  67. What month enjoy a beer the most?…. Feb – BREW – ary! (College Jokes)
  68. Grandkid: “Does beer make you smarter?” Grandparent: “No, but it made Budweiser.”
  69. Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?… To find some Christmas spirit. (Grinch Jokes)
  70. Where did the taco go for drinks?… The Salad Bar! (Taco Jokes)
  71. How do they serve beer on Cinco de Mayo?… In Mexi-cans!
  72. You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer… Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon. (Blue Moon Jokes)
  73. Bartender asks a man “You ever had an orange in your beer?” Man says “Once, in a Blue Moon.” (Blue Moon Jokes)
  74. Ocean walks in to a bar Bartender says “why so blue?” (Psychology Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  75. A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’ (Father’s Day Jokes & Dog Jokes)
  76. What does a man consider a seven-course meal?… A hot dog and a six pack of beer. (Hot Dog Jokes)
  77. Grandkid: “Does beer make you smarter?” Grandparent: “No, but it made Budweiser.” (Grandparent Jokes)
  78. Hurricane Irma was coming, and my mother was thirsty. My mother has a glass of port wine with almost every dinner, and insists that any guests over 21 do the same. A handful of my friends have also come to wait out the storm with us, as they had to evacuate. While at the grocery store stocking up on food, my mother insists on getting more wine for our guests. However, the grocery store was out of her favorite brand. It’s okay. She said. Any Port in a storm. (Hurricane Jokes)
  79. What is the #1 drink at a Chinese Food restaurant… A Mai Pi.