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- Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best baby jokes.
- What’s a leap year baby’s favorite book?… “The Time Traveler’s Leap!”
- What’s a baby shark’s favorite nursery rhyme?… Jack and Gill. (Shark Jokes)
- Did you hear about the pregnant woman bit by a shark?… She hopes it’s a buoy.
- Where is the best place on Cape Cod to have a child?… Bourne. (Cape Cod Jokes)
- Why did the leap year baby’s friends throw them a surprise party on February 28th?… Because they couldn’t wait another four years to celebrate! (Baby Jokes & Birthday Jokes)
- Two men are hiking through the woods when one of them cries out, “Snake! Run!” His companion laughs at him. “Oh, relax. It’s only a baby,” he says. “Don’t you hear the rattle?” (Snake Jokes & Baby Jokes)
- Why did the leap year baby become a time traveler?… They were used to jumping ahead four years at a time!
- What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?… A snowmobile!
- Two elderly grandparents from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: “I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?” The other says, “I feel just like a newborn baby. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.”
- What do librarians hang over their babies’ cribs?… Bookmobiles. (Library Jokes & Baby Jokes)
- What’s the best job for babies in the Army?… The Infantry. (Army Jokes)
- If there’s a baby boom nine months from now, what will happen in 2033?… There will be a whole bunch of quaranteens.
- What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?…. Patty. (Hamburger Jokes)
- In the military, how do you refer to children?… Infantry. (Memorial Day Jokes)
- What did our grandparents do without TV or internet?… I don’t know. Ask your mom and her 6 siblings. (Grandparent Jokes)
- What did the construction worker and pregnant lady have in common?… They were both in labor. (Labor Day Jokes)
- Daughter: Is Auntie having her baby today? Mother: Why did you think she is about to give birth? Daughter: Because you said today was Labor Day!
- What did baby kangaroo say to mama kangaroo?… Don’t leap me hanging. (Leap Year Jokes)
- I asked a little girl do you know why we get out of school for Labor Day?… She was very enthusiastic to say “It is a time when all the mommies of the world go into labor.” (Mother’s Day Jokes & Baby Jokes)
- How do you raise a baby elephant?… With a forklift! (Elephant Jokes)
- Phone call with nurse: My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart! Nurse: “Is this her first child?” Me: “No, you idiot!, this is her husband!” (Nurse Jokes)
- I think I might name my child Precious… It has such a nice ring to it! (Lord of the Rings Jokes)
- What kind of bee is a sore loser?… a cryba-bee. (Bee Jokes)
- Why did one bee tease the other bee?… Because he was acting like a bay-bee! (Bee Jokes)
- Never upset a pediatric nurse… They have very little patients. (Baby Jokes)
- The nurse told the parents of a newly born child, “You have a cute baby.” The smiling husband said, “I bet you say that to all new parents.” “No,” she replied, “just to those whose babies really are good-looking.” The husband again asked “So what do you say to the others?” The nurse replied, “The baby looks just like you.” (Nurse Jokes)
- Babies born on March 31st are the easiest to prank on April Fools’… They were literally born yesterday! (April Fools’s Day Jokes)
- What’s the difference between a college quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (Napping Jokes & Baby Jokes)
- I was gonna have a baby at the hospital downtown but the week I was due, all the nurses quit their job and bought Corvettes…. I guess they were having a midwife crisis. (Mother’s Day Jokes & Car Jokes)
- Who was the youngest US president?… BABE Lincoln. (Presidents Day Jokes)
- What is it called when a hospital runs out of maternity nurses?… A mid-wife crisis! (Mother’s Day Jokes & Nurse Jokes)
- When potatoes have babies, what are they called?… Tater Tots. (Potato Jokes)
- Why is a baby good at basketball?… Because they’re always dribbling. (World’s Best Basketball Jokes)
- If you were born in mid September you’re not a Virgo… You’re a Christmas present. (Baby Jokes)
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about babies?
- The baby corn wanted a pet, so his mama decided to buy the baby a corn dog. (Baby Jokes & Dog Jokes)
- Apparently most babies are born in September… I suppose that’s one way to start the new year off with a bang. (New Year’s Eve Jokes)
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good baby knock-knock joke?
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good baby knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
- What did grandpa and grandma do for fun back in the day?… I don’t know. My 17 aunts and uncles won’t answer my question. (Grandparent Jokes)
- What did Mr. and Mrs. Cheeseburger name their daughter?…. Patty. (Baby Jokes & Marriage Jokes)
- My wife and I just had a daughter and named her SeptemberOctoberNovember… We call her Autumn for short. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good baby knock-knock joke?
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good baby knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
- Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.” “That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!” A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!” “That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!” A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!” “That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!” The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask. “I work for 7 Up!” (Father’s Day Jokes)
- What did baby corn say to mama corn?… Where’s popcorn? (Popcorn Jokes for Kids / Father’s Day Jokes / Corn Jokes)
- What do you call a baby elephant that hates taking baths?… A smellyphant! (Elephant Jokes)
- What do babies wear when they go skateboarding?… Mini-Vans. (Skateboarding Jokes)
- How come the mother needle got mad at the baby needle?… It was way past its threadtime! (Napping Jokes)
- “People who say they sleep like a baby don’t have one.” – Dad (Napping Jokes for Kids & Father’s Day Jokes)
- What did the mother bullet say to the daddy bullet?… “We’re gonna have a BB!” (Mother’s Day Jokes)
- What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?… A snowmobile! (Snowman Jokes)
- My wife and I just had a daughter and named her JuneJulyAugust… We call her Summer for short. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Summer Jokes)
- What do Jawa’s have that no other creature in the galaxy has?… Baby Jawas. (May the 4th Be With You Jokes)
- Why is a baby good at basketball?… Because they’re always dribbling. (March Madness Jokes)
- What would you get if you crossed basketball with a newborn snake?… a bouncing baby boa. (March Madness Jokes & Snake Jokes)
- What do giraffes have that no one else has?… Baby giraffes! (Giraffe Jokes)
- What’s the difference between a Patric Mahomes and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (Napping Jokes & Super Bowl Jokes)
- What do baby corns call their daddy?… Popcorn.
- What did the baby corn say to momma corn?… Where is pop corn? (Mother’s Day Jokes / Father’s Day Jokes / Popcorn Jokes)
- Do you want to know why the republicans won’t impeach Trump?… Because they believe in carrying a baby to full term. (Impeachment Jokes)
- Two elderly grandparents from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: “I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?” The other says, “I feel just like a newborn baby. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants”
- Why couldn’t the baby make a basket?… Because he was always dribbling.
- A tourist in Hawaii is amazed at how healthy and invigorated he feels after just a few days into visiting the islands… He strikes up a conversation with one of the locals while they are wading out into the crystal clear, warm surf on yet another perfect island day. “I just can’t get over how beautiful this place is,” the tourist says excitedly, “I feel great! I haven’t felt this young and healthy in years! Island life is fantastic!” The local says, “I know what you mean! Take me for instance. When I came here I was totally bald, didn’t have any teeth and I couldn’t even walk…and look at me now!” The tourist looks at him and says, “Wow, that’s amazing! How long have you been here?” The local says, “Oh, I was born here.” (Hawaii Jokes)
- The nurse told the parents of a newly born child, “You have a cute baby.” The smiling husband said, “I bet you say that to all new parents.” “No,” she replied, “just to those whose babies really are good-looking.” The husband again asked “So what do you say to the others?” The nurse replied, “The baby looks just like you. (Nurse Jokes)
- What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (Football Jokes & Baby Jokes)
- What did the mommy leaf and daddy leaf call their son?… Russell. (Fall Jokes)
- What do you call a mole hanging from the ceiling?… a Mole – Bile. (Mole Day Jokes)
- Did you hear about the baby swimmer?… He could only do the crawl. (Swimming Jokes)
- Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly… and for the same reason. (Election Jokes)
- A couple in Montana had a baby… Now their population is 17! (Montana Jokes)
- What is the best city to buy a baby shower gift?… Mobile Alabama. (Alabama Jokes)
- Which type of worms do storks like most?… Birthworms. (Worm Jokes)
- Why did one bee tease the other bee?… Because he was acting like a bay-bee! (Bee Jokes for Kids & Baby Jokes)
- What is a spring chick after it is five months old?… Six months old. (Chicken Jokes & Baby Jokes)
- I’m glad I have my 2nd Amendment right to bear arms… Otherwise, I’d have been amputated at birth. (Constitution Jokes)
- If corn oils are made from corn, so from which do baby oils made? (Corn Jokes)
- What’s the difference between a watermelon and a baby’s head?… I don’t know! I’m asking you! (Watermelon Jokes)