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May Jokes / Teacher Jokes for May
- May Day Jokes: Did you hear Ted Danson AKA Sam “May Day” Malone is the spokesperson for May Day?…
- Kentucky Jokes:
- May 3rd: Kentucky Derby Jokes
- May 4th: May the 4th Be With You
- May 5th: Cinco De Mayo Jokes
- May 5th: Revenge of the Fifth
June
- What kind of school do you go to if you’re an ice cream man?… Sundae school (Top Summer Jokes)
- Why did the Cyclops Tutoring Company go out of business?… It only had one pupil! (Top Tutoring Jokes)
- What kind of school do you go to if you’re a surfer?… Boarding school.
- Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?… She had bright students!
July
- Did you hear the joke about a tutor eating a cookie?…. It is crummy! (Top Tutoring Jokes)
August
- How does a tutor make a tissue dance?… He / she puts a little boogey in it! (Top Tutoring Jokes)
September
- Best back to school book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.
October
- (Top Tutoring Jokes)
- What is a witch’s favorite class?… Spelling (Is Spelling Important? phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid)
November
December
February
- What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher?… He became a pound hog!(Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes)
- What do you call Punxsutawney Phil’s laundry?… Hogwash. (Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes)
- What happens if the ground log sees its shadow?… We’ll have six more weeks of splinters! (Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes)
- What flies around the kindergarten room at night?… The alpha-BAT. (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z)
- Why are fish so smart?… They live in schools! (Top Geography Jokes)
- How did the geography student drown?… His grades were below C-level. (Top Geography Jokes)
- What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (Top Football Jokes)
- What did one mole say to the other?… We make great chemistry together. (Top Chemistry Jokes)
- What does Jack Frost like best about school?… Snow and tell. (Top Winter Jokes)
- What is a snake’s favorite class?… Hissss-tory! (Great Lessons for Psychology and U.S. History)
- Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?… Because you can really party hearty! (Top Seasonal Jokes)
- Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?… No, but they had an apple. (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
- What did one oar say to the other?… “Can I interest you in a little row-mance?” (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
- Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?… Because it’s all heart. (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
- Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie. (Top President’s Day Jokes)
- How did George Washington speak to his army?…. In general terms! (Top President’s Day Jokes)
- Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed! (Top President’s Day Jokes)
- Why did the students study in the airplane?…. Because they wanted higher grades. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
- Why do magicians do so well in school?… They’re good at trick questions. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
- Best school book never written: “The Best Subject in School” by Jim Class. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
- Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?… Because it was always sweeping during class! (Top Elementary School Jokes)
- Why did the M&M go to school?… Because he really wanted to be a Smartie! (Top Elementary School Jokes)
- What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?… He has only one pupil. (Top Tutoring Jokes)
- Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located?… Student: At the great airports! (Top Geography Jokes)
- What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?… A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!” (Top Elementary School Jokes)
- What’s the king of all school supplies?… The ruler. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
- I wasn’t going to celebrate Leap Day, but I decided to jump on the band wagon.(Top 10 Leap Day Jokes)
- What kind of music do you listen to on Leap Day?… Hip Hop. (Top 10 Leap Day Jokes)
- Where do most people eat on Leap Day?… IHOP. (Top 10 Leap Day Jokes)
Teacher Jokes for March / March Madness Jokes for Teachers / March Jokes
- Why doesn’t the Grinch like knock knock jokes?… Because there’s always Whos there! (Dr. Seuss Jokes & Dr. Seuss Trivia)
- What Dr. Suess baseball book was never published?… “The Cat at Bat!” (Top Baseball Jokes Read Across America Jokes & Dr. Seuss Trivia)
- What do librarians hang over their babies’ cribs?… Bookmobiles. (World Book Day Jokes)
- What is Sam-I-am’s middle name?… “I” (Dr. Seuss Jokes & Dr. Seuss Trivia)
- Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn’t you? Student: Not very much! (Top Teacher Jokes)
- Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at Maria’s exam. Student: I sure hope you didn’t, either! (Top Teacher Jokes)
- What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?… He has only one pupil. (Top Teacher Jokes)
- How do leprechauns eat their pancakes?… In short stacks. (Top St. Patrick Day Jokes & National Pancake Day Jokes)
- Do not hire this math tutor “3 out of 2 people do not understand fractions! (Top Math Jokes & 101 Pi Day Jokes Top Tutoring Jokes)
- Mathematician: “Pi r squared” Baker:” No! Pies are round, cakes are square! (Top Pi Day Jokes)
- In Alaska, where it gets very cold, pi is only 3.00. As you know, everything shrinks in the cold. They call it Eskimo pi. (Top Pi Day Jokes)
- 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Top Pi Day Jokes)
- The roundest knight at King Arthur’s was Sir Cumference… He ate too much Pi! (Top Pi Day Jokes)
- What is the official animal of Pi Day?… the PI – thon! (Top Pi Day Jokes)
- Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? …. Because they’re always a little short. (Top St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
- Why don’t you iron 4-Leaf clovers? …. Because you don’t want to press your luck. (Top St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
- Knock Knock …. Who’s there? ….Irish!… Irish Who? …. Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day! (Top St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
- How is a best friend like a 4-leaf clover?…. Because they are hard to find and lucky to have. (Top St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
- How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? …. He’s Dublin over with laughter! (Top St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
- What do Easter Bunny helpers get for making a basket?… Two points, just like anyone else. (Top Basketball Jokes & Top Easter Jokes)
- Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? … He was having a bad hare day! (Top Easter Jokes)
- What did the bunny want to do when he grew up? … Join the Hare Force. (Top Easter Jokes)
- Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a good joke? … It might crack up! (Top Easter Jokes)
- What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? … A receding “hareline.” (Top Easter Jokes)
- What do you call a rabbit with fleas? … Bugs Bunny. (Top Easter Jokes)
- What day does an Easter egg hate the most? … Fry-days. (Top Easter Jokes)
- How can you find the Easter bunny?… Eggs (x) marks the spot.
- What do you call the Easter Bunny the Monday after Easter? … Tired. (Top Easter Jokes)
- April 1st: April Fool’s Day Jokes: Student: Do you know all about April 1st? Teacher: Yes, I’m fooly aware of it!
- April 2nd National Walking Day: Two men are walking through a graveyard with their dogs. One man turns to the other and says ‘Morning’ The other man replies ‘No, just walking the dog.”
- I hate high school and got caught skipping the other day… My principal said, “Walk normal next time.”
- Final Four Jokes: Duke Basketball Jokes: Cooper Flagg is the Maine attraction of 2025 March Madness.
- April 5th: National Burrito Day Jokes: What did the teacher say when she finished her burrito?… “That’s a wrap!”
- Final Four Jokes: All the #1 seeds advance to the Final Four in 2025…. that is ONEderful. (#1 Duke, #1 Florida, #1 Houston, #1 Auburn)
- Assistant Principal’s Week: A new assistant principal was checking over his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day. The school where he had been an assistant principal the previous year had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox. Cautiously, he asked the school’s long time Custodian, “Do you think it’s wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to let the teachers take things without requisitions?” The Custodian looked at him gravely… “We trust them with the children, don’t we?
- Asistant Principal’s Week: ”One morning a mother was trying to wake up her son. “Wake up now! It’s the first day of school, You don’t want to be late.” “I don’t want to go to school,” the son replied. His mother said, “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.” “Okay. One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.” “Not good enough,” the mother replied.“Fine,” the son said. “Then you give me two good reasons why I SHOULD go to school.” “One, you’re 50 years old. Two, you’re the assistant principal of the school.”
- Asistant Principal’s Week: Boy: “Isn’t the assistant principal a dummy!” Girl: “Say, do you know who I am?” Boy: “No.” Girl: “I’m the assistant principal’s daughter.” Boy: “And do you know who I am?” Girl: “No,” Boy: “Thank goodness!”
- Asistant Principal’s Week: Why did the school assistant principal keep a whistle in his pocket?… In case he needed to blow off some steam!
- Asistant Principal’s Week: What did the cross eyed teacher say to the assistant principal?…. “I can’t control my pupils!”
- Top 10 March Madness Jokes: My bracket is less “March Madness” and more “March Sadness.”
- I think my calendar is broken…Haha, April Fools! It works just fine!
- Teacher in the Teachers’ Lounge: Nobody pranked me on the 1st of April……..but that’s fine, my life is already a joke.
- April 21st: Patriots’ Day Jokes: Teacher: “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!”
- Teacher: “Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?” Student: “On the bottom!”
- Teacher: “Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?”
Student: “I think it was Thomas Jeffer’s son.”