Joke of the Day: 365 Clean Jokes

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January Jokes (Winter Jokes)

  1. January 1st: Top New Year’s Day Jokes: What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Day?…. Hoppy New Year! (Top Easter Jokes)
  2. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?… He was feeling crummy. (Winter Jokes)
  3. Where is the best location for a Blizzard?…. Dairy Queen. (Blizzard Jokes)
  4. January 4th: National Spaghetti Day Jokes: What do you call a fake noodle?… An impasta.
  5. January 5th: National Bird Day Jokes: What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?… Owlgebra! (101 Pi Day Jokes & Algebra Jokes)
  6. How do snowmen travel around?… By icicle! (Bike Jokes)
  7. What is the snowman’s breakfast?… Frosted flakes! (Cereal Day Jokes)
  8. What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (National Football Champions & Top Football Jokes)
  9. What does Jack Frost like best about school?… Snow and tell. (180 School Jokes & Skiing Jokes)
  10. What do snowmen wear on their heads?… Ice caps! (Winter Jokes)
  11. January 11th: National Milk Day Jokes: What did mama cow say to baby cow?… It’s pasture bedtime. (Mother’s Day Jokes)
  12. What do you find in an empty nose?… fingerprints! (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  13. What kind of stories are told by basketball players?…. Tall Tales. (Basketball Jokes)
  14. What did the football say to the punter?… “I get a kick out of you.” (Super Bowl Champions & Top Football Jokes)
  15. January 15th: National Hat Day Jokes: What did the hat say to the tie?… “You hang around here…I’ll go on a head.”
  16. Why are bananas good at gymnastics?… They do great banana splits! (Top Gymnastics Jokes)
  17. What does Winnie-the-Pooh and Jabba the Hutt have in common?… The same middle name. (Star Wars Jokes)
  18. January 18th: Top 50 Winnie the Pooh Jokes: What’s Winnie’s favorite bird?… Christopher Robin.
  19. January 19th: National Popcorn Day Jokes: Why aren’t there many jokes about popcorn?… Because they are corny.
  20. January 23rd: National Popcorn Day Jokes:Why did the pie go to a dentist?… Because he needed a filling! (Dentist Jokes)

February Jokes

  1. February 2nd: Ground Hog Day: What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher?… He became a pound hog! (Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes)
  2. Super Bowl Sunday: What football play should you be suspicious of in the Super Bowl?… The quarterback sneak. (Top Football Jokes)
  3. If you want to sack the Dolphins quarterback, what should you use?… Your fishing tackle. (Top Fishing Jokes)
  4. February 14th: Top Valentine’s Day Jokes: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?… No, but they had an apple.



 

March Jokes for Kids

  1. March 14th Pi Day: 101 Pi Day Jokes: 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Top Pirate Jokes)

May Jokes for Kids

June Joke for Kids

July Jokes

August Jokes

September Jokes

October Jokes

November Jokes

December Jokes

(update 12/2018)

Christmas Trivia & Answers

  1. Why was Santa’s little helper sad?… He had low elf esteem! (Top Psychology Jokes)
  2. What kind of music does elves like best?…”Wrap” music!
  3. What do elves learn in schools?… the “elf”-abet!
  4. Why does Santa have 3 gardens?… So he can ho-ho-ho! (Top Christmas JokesTop Winter Jokes)
  5. What is the best Christmas present in the world?….A broken drum, you can’t beat it! (Top Christmas JokesTop Winter Jokes)
  6. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?… Nothing, it was on the house! (Top Christmas JokesTop Winter Jokes)
  7. What is the difference between the alphabet and the Christmas alphabet?…The Christmas alphabet has no L (noel)! (Top Christmas JokesTop Winter Jokes)
  8. What nationality is Santa?… North Polish! (Top Christmas JokesTop Winter Jokes)
  9. Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?… Rude-olph! (Top Christmas JokesTop Winter Jokes)
  10. Knock Knock…Who’s there?…Mary… Mary who?… Mary Christmas! (Top Christmas JokesTop Winter Jokes)
  11. Where do Santa Claus and the elves keep their money?… In a snow bank. (Top Christmas JokesTop Winter Jokes)
  12. Why did the angry Jedi cross the road?… To get to the Dark Side. (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Jokes)
  13. When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?… In the Sith Grade. (Elementary teachers are great tutors!)
  14. What did the sweet potato say to Luke Skywalker?… I Yam your father! (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Jokes)
  15. How do Ewoks communicate over long distances?… With Ewokie Talkies (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Jokes)
  16. Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing and such?… At the Darth Maul, of course. (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Jokes)
  17. What do Gungans put things in?… Jar Jars. (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Jokes)
  18. What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber?… A Sith-Kabob! (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Jokes)
  19. Why do Doctors make the best Jedi?… Because a Jedi must have patience. (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Jokes)
  20. What did the ghost say to Santa?… We’ll have a boo Christmas without you!
  21. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?… “Looks like rain, dear.”
  22. Knock knockWho’s there?… Irish... Irish who? … Irish you a Merry Christmas!
  23. Knock, knock…Who’s there?…Olive…Olive, who?…Olive the other reindeer.
  24. What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?… Claustrophobic.
  25. Why is Santa so good at karate?… Because he has a black belt!
  26. Which reindeer has the cleanest antlers?… Comet!
  27. What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve?…Halo there!
  28. If an athlete gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?…Missile Toe
  29. What kind of money do Santa and the elves use in the North Pole?…Cold cash!
  30. What do reindeer say before telling a joke?… This one will sleigh you!
  31. How do you make a slow reindeer fast?… Don’t feed it!
  32. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?… Because of all the wrapping!
  33. What kind of bug hates Christmas?… A humbug.
  34. What does a vampire sing on New Year’s Eve?… Auld FANG syne (Top New Years Eve Jokes)
  1. New Year’s Eve Jokes: What do you call always having a date for New Year’s Eve?… Social Security

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