National Junk Food Day Jokes: Junk Food Jokes

My Town Tutors provides some great resources for parents and teachers. One of our most valuable resources are our Guest Blog posts from some of the “Thought Leaders in Education.”

We are biased and only list educators who have written Guest Blogs for us. We have include a link to the guest blog and a link to the author’s blog.

180 School Jokes & Jokes for Special Days of the Year

Many of the author’s are on our Top Twitter Accounts for Teachers & Top 10 Educators by State.

July JokesTop Summer Jokes

  1. Candy Jokes: What kind of bear has no teeth?… A gummy bear!
  2. What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty. (Top College Jokes)
  3. What did the cute Starburst say to the Mars Bar?… Going my Milky Way? (Top Astronomy Jokes)
  4. What country did candy come from?… Sweeten! (World Geography Jokes)
  5. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?…. A Candy Baa
  6. What do you call a dog standing on a Mars bar?… Rover! (Top Astronomy Jokes & Top Dog Jokes)
  7. Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Candy!… Candy who?… Candy cow jump over the moon? (Full Moon Jokes)
  8. Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?… Because it lost its filling!
  9. How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie?… 3.14159265. (101 Pi Day Jokes)
  10. What do you call an infant that cries alot?… Baby Ruthless (Top Baseball Jokes)
  11. What kind of candy is never on time?… ChocoLATE
  12. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate?… A Mars bar! (Top Astronomy Jokes)
  13. What’s a southern farmer’s favorite treat?… Cotton candy.
  14. What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend?… A Payday
  15. What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have?… A life saver! (World Oceans Day Jokes)
  16. What do cannibals eat for dessert?… Chocolate covered aunts.
  17. What is a monkey’s favorite cookie?… Chocolate chimp!
  18. What candy is only for girls?… HER-SHEy’s Kisses! (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  19. How do you know it’s cold outside?… When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!
  20. How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin?… First, invade ze kitchen.
  21. If Jake has 30 chocolate bars, and eats 25, what does he have? Diabetes….. Jake has diabetes…
  22. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty… They had a baby, Ruth.
  23. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?… Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe (Top Science Jokes101 Mole Day Jokes)
  24. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?… A Kitty Kat bar! (Top Cat Jokes)
  25. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?… Chocolate Chip Wookiee. (Top Star Wars Jokes)
  26. What is a French cat’s favorite dessert?… Chocolate mousse! (World Geography Jokes)
  27. What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate?… Decad-ant
  28. What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk?… The worlds best Sundae!
  29. What do you call people who like to drink hot chocolate all year long?… Cocoa-Nuts.
  30. There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars.
  31. What’s the best part of Valentines Day? The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale. (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  32. Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Candy!… Candy who?… Candy boy have another piece of chocolate?
  33. What is a leopard’s favorite candy?… Dots
  34. Why was Mrs. Cookie so sad?… She was feeling crummy.
  35. What do you call a cow that can’t moo?… A Milk Dud.
  36. What did Mrs. Good and Plenty say when the Policeman pulled her from the water?… You’re a life saver!
  37. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Candy!… Candy who?… Candy doggie have some chocolate? (Top 500 U.S. Geography Jokes)
  38. Who’s there?… Candice!… Candice who?… Candice get any better!
  39. What type of candy is bad?… Coco-naughty!
  40. Why don’t they serve chocolate in prison?… Because prisoners break out!
  41. What do cows give after an earth quake?… Milk shakes! (Top 500 U.S. Geography Jokes)
  42. Where did the alien go to get a drink?… A Mars bar!
  43. Did you hear about how the zombie die?… It was choked by a LifeSaver!
  44. What did the baby corn say to it’s mom?… Where is pop corn? (#1 Holiday Jokes)
  45. What do you call candy that was stolen?… Hot chocolate!
  46. How do you make a milk shake?… Give it a good scare! (#1 Halloween Joke)
  47. What is a pretzel’s favorite dance?… The Twist!
  48. Did you hear the joke about the Halloween chocolate sauce?… I’m not telling you. You might spread it! (Halloween Jokes)
  49. Why was the vampire super intelligent?… He had been eating a diet of smarties! (Halloween Jokes)
  50. Why was the gummy bear hiding under a wrap?… There was a bounty on his head!
  51. What is a monster favorite snack?…  Sugar babies!
  52. What does Babe ruth like to do?.. Scores runs! (Top Baseball Jokes)
  53. What did little hershey want?… A kit kat! (Top Cat Jokes)
  54. Why was the vampire called “sweet”?… He gave everybody kisses instead!
  55. Where is my mars bar, dude?… Up there in the milky way! (Top Astronomy Jokes)
  56. Where did the zombie apocalypse start?… On 5th avenue.
  57. What did o Henry say when a zombies hands fell off?… Butterfingers!
  58. Did your hear about Almond Joy the Hollywood star and Miss Kit Kat?… They were seen giving each other kisses on 5th avenue!
  59. What did King O Henry call his wives?… Sugar babies!
  60. What did Hershey say when the Three Musketeers turned up?… Thank you. I needed a few lifesavers!
  61. French Fry Jokes: What day do potatoes hate the most?… Fry-day!
  62. What’s a potato’s motto?… If at first you don’t succeed, fry, fry again!
  63. Where were the first French Fries made?… In Greece!
  64. What do you call a nice french fry?… A sweet potato!
  65. Ice Cream Jokes: What do you get from an Alaskan cow?…  Ice Cream.
  66. What do you get from an Alaskan cow?…  Ice Cream (Top Geography Jokes Top State Jokes)
  67. Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Ice cream!… Ice cream who?… Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
  68. What happens after you eat an entire gallon of “All Natural” ice cream?… You get Breyer’s remorse!
  69. How did Reese eat her ice cream?… Witherspoon.
  70. How do astronauts eat their ice creams?… In floats!
  71. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter?… Pi a’la mode. (Pi Day Jokes)
  72. What does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? … Any Given Sundae.
  73. Where is the best place to get an ice cream?… IN A SUNDAY SCHOOL.
  74. What did the newspaper say to the ice cream?… What’s the scoop
  75. Why did the ice cream truck break down?… Because of the Rocky Road.
  76. How do you learn how to make ice cream?… In Sunday (Sundae) School.
  77. Donut Jokes:Knock knock!… Who’s there?… Doughnut. Doughnut Who?… Doughnut forget to hire a tutor to avoid the Summer Slide! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
  78. Knock Knock… Who’s there… Donut… Donut who?… Donut ask, it’s a secret!(Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
  79. Why did the donut go to the doctor?… Because it was feeling crummy! (Doctor Jokes)
  80. Why did the baker stop making donuts?… He was fed up with the hole business! (Labor Day Jokes)
  81. What is a pilot’s favorite type of donut? A plain (plane) donut! (Pilot Jokes)
  82. What did the donut say to the munchin?…. Your complete me!
  83. What do you call a Jamaican donut?… Cinnamon. (World Geography Jokes)
  84. Knock knock!… Who’s there?… Doughnut. Doughnut Who?… Doughnut forget to close the door! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
  85. Knock knock!… Who’s there?… Doughnut. Doughnut Who?… Doughnut forget do your homework or you will have to go to summer school! (180 School Jokes / Summer School Jokes / Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
  86. Why did the donut go to the dentist?… It needed a chocolate filling. (Dentist Jokes for Kids)
  87. Why couldn’t the Teddy Bear eat his donut?… He was stuffed (Animal Jokes for Kids)
  88. What is the best thing to put into a donut?… your teeth. (Dentist Jokes for Kids)
  89. Why did the clock in the donut shop stop?… It always went back 4 seconds. (for seconds)
  90. Knock Knock… Who’s there… Donut… Donut who?… Donut let anyone else in but me!  (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
  91. Did you here the joke about the donut?… Probably not, it was crummy! (Doctor Jokes)
  92. Knock Knock… Who’s there… Justin… Justin who?… Justin time to make the donuts! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
  93. “Donuts: The only non-negotiable element to a successful meeting.” Anonymous
  94. “If you stop eating donuts you will live three years longer; it’s just three more years that you want a donut.” Lewis Black
  95. American donuts… glazed, powdered and raspberry-filled; now how’s that for freedom of choice? Homer Simpson (4th of July Jokes)
  96. How did the police department figure out a perp stole a cop car?… The lojacked cop car went 5 hours without stopping at a Dunkin Donuts! (Police Jokes for Kids)
  97. Hot Dog Jokes: Did you see the movie about the hot dog?… It was an Oscar Wiener.
  98. Why did the hot dog hire a tutor?… He wanted to be on the honor role. (180 School Jokes)
  99. What do you call a hot dog race?… Wiener takes all. (Summer Olympic Jokes)
  100. When can a pizza marry a hot dog?… After a very frank relationship.
  101. What’s the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog?… You can buy a Fenway Frank hot dog in October. (Top Baseball Jokes)
  102. What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog?… Stop touching my buns!
  103. What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it?… A “hollow-weenie!” (Top Halloween Jokes)
  104. What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua?… A hot, diggety dog.
  105. What does a man consider a seven-course meal?… A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
  106. Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture?… None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
  107. What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit?… A hot dog.
  108. What do you call a frozen frankfurter?… A Chili dog.
  109. Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup?… Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
  110. What do you call a dog with a fever?… A hot dog.
  111. What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter?… Ketch-up!
  112. What do you give a dog with a fever?… Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog.
  113. Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role. (180 School Jokes)
  114. Cheeseburger Day Jokes: What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?….Patty
  115. Did you hear about the hamburger patty who told funny jokes?… He was on a roll!
  116. Where were cheeseburgers 1st made?… Greece. (World Geography Jokes & Top Geography Jokes)
  117. What do you call a pig thief?… A hamburglar!
  118. What do polar bears eat for lunch?… Ice berg-ers! (World Geography Jokes & Top Geography Jokes)
  119. Why was the cheeseburger sad?… It had blue cheese!
  120. How do you stop someone from stealing your grill?… With a burger alarm!
  121. How do you make a hamburger laugh?… Pickle it!
  122. Fast Food Jokes: National Fast Food Day Jokes: Did you hear McDonald killed Burger King in front of Five Guys over that the girl Wendy?… The funeral is at White Castle. I’m taking Dairy Queen.
  123. National Brownie Day Jokes: How is a softball team like a brownie?… They both depend on a good batter! (Top Softball Jokes)
  124. How is a baseball team like a brownie?… They both depend on a good batter! (Top Baseball Jokes)
  125. What did the M&M brownie go to college?… Because he wanted to be a Smarty. (Top College Jokes)
  126. Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?… Because it lost its filling!
  127. What kind of brownie is never on time?… ChocoLATE
  128. How does the recipe for German brownie begin?… First, invade ze kitchen.
  129. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in a brownie?… Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe (Top Science Jokes & 101 Mole Day Jokes)
  130. Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Candy!… Candy who?… Candy boy have another brownie?

 

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