Football Jokes: Football Jokes for Kids

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Top NFL Jokes

  1. Why did the college football player go to the bank?… to get his quarter back.
  2. What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap.
  3. What football play should you be suspicious of?… The quarterback sneak.
  4. What did the football say to the punter?… “I get a kick out of you.”
  5. How is losing money in a payphone like a football game?… If you don’t get the quarter back, you hit the receiver!
  6. Why do coaches like punters?… Because punters always put their best foot forward.
  7. What do you call a lineman’s kids?… Chips off the old blocker. (Top Father’s Day Jokes)
  8. Did you here about the football player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub?
  9. Where do hungry football players play?… In the Supper Bowl.
  10. What kind of ends do you find in libraries?… Book ends.
  11. Which player is the easiest target to hit with the football?… The wide receiver.
  12. Who are the happiest people at the football game?… The cheerleaders. (Cheerleading Jokes)
  13. Why are college football stadiums always cool?… “Because they’re full of fans.”
  14. Why was the skeleton always left out of the football game ?… Because he had no body to go with. (Top Halloween Jokes)
  15. What did the mummy football coach say at the end of practice?… “Let’s wrap this up!” (Top Halloween Jokes)
  16. What would you get if you crossed a football player and the Invisible Man?… Football like no one has ever seen. (Top Halloween Jokes)
  17. Why was Cinderella such a bad at football?… Her coach was a pumpkin. (Top Halloween Jokes)
  18. Where do athletes go to get a new uniform?… New Jersey (Top Geography JokesTop 500 Jokes for U.S. States)
  19. What does a bad football team and possums have in common?… Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  20. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?… “Give me my quarterback!”

PG-13 Jokes

  1. Why did the poor quarterback have his receivers cross at midfield?… Because he was trying to make ends meet.
  2. When is a football player like a judge?… When he sits on the bench.
  3. Did you hear about the college football who wore two jackets when he painted the house?… The instructions on the can said: “Put on two coats.”
  4. Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?… Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
  5. What’s the difference between the poor, inconsistent football team and a dollar bill?… You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  6. What do biology majors wear on their heads when playing football?… Helminth. (Top Biology Jokes)
  7. Where do quarterbacks go when they get old?… Out to pass-ture.
  8. Did you hear that some college football teams don’t have a website?…They can’t string three “Ws” together.

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