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- For one reason or another, a group of friends missed an exam in a class they
all had together, they decided to tell the professor they’d been stranded with
a flat tire. When they came in for the make-up exam they were handed out test
booklets and when they opened the booklets the only question was “Which Tire?”
- Did you hear about the power outage at the college library?… Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
- Do you know why the college football team should change its name to the “Opossums”?… Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
- Why do college students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First!
- What do you call a good looking girl on my college’s campus?… A visitor.
- What do you call a good looking boy on my college’s campus?… A visitor.
- What do you call a genius at MSU?… A visitor.
- What do my college’s football team and pot have in common?… They both get smoked in bowls!
- What does the average student at one college get on his SAT?… Drool.
- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
- In a survey taken several years ago, all incoming freshman at MIT were asked if they expected to graduate in the top half of their class.
Ninety-seven percent responded that they did.
- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in colleges.
- College Student: “I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.”
- Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.
- College Dropout: “I just let my mind wander, and it didn’t come back.”
- College Advice: When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Freshman vs. Seniors
Freshman: Is never in bed past noon.
Senior: Is never out of bed before noon.
Freshman: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut.
Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend.
Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.
Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mountain Dew into a recitation class.
Freshman: Calls the professor “Teacher.”
Senior: Calls the professor “Bob.”
Freshman: Would walk ten miles to get to class.
- A graduate with a science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
- A graduate with an engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
- A graduate with an accounting degree asks, “How much it cost?”
- A graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”