Tutoring Jokes: Top Jokes for Tutors

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#1 Jokes for Teachers

  1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! There are a few more good seasonal jokes and hundreds of Top U.S. Teachers who Tutor! Find one today!
  2. Why did the Cyclops Tutoring Company go out of business?… It only had one pupil!
  3. How often does a chemistry tutor tell a joke?… periodically. (Top Chemistry Jokes)
  4. What makes a Cyclops such an effective tutor?… He has only one pupil. (365 Jokes for Teachers)
  5. Why did the chemistry tutor get fired… He had no chemistry with the student. (Top Chemistry Jokes)
  6. Do not hire this math tutor “3 out of 2 people do not understand fractions! (Top Math Jokes & 101 Pi Day Jokes)
  7. Did you hear there is no longer an essay requirement on the SAT?… Now it’s just going to be called the T. (Top High School Jokes)
  8. Psychology Tutor: Do you know anything about Pavlov? Student: It rings a bell. (Top Psychology Jokes & Psychology Lessons)
  9. Did you hear the joke about a tutor eating a cookie?…. It is crummy. (180 School Jokes)
  10. A Chemistry tutor told a joke… there was no reaction! (Top Chemistry Jokes)
  11. Why did the geography student need a tutor?… His grades were below C-level.   (Top Geography Jokes for Teachers)
  12. What kind of teacher passes gas?… A tutor!
  13. What kind of tree does a math tutor climb?… Geometry. (Top Math Jokes)
  14. How does a tutor make a tissue dance?… He / she puts a little boogey in it!
  15. Physics Tutor: “Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?” Student: “Yes, if he had been sitting here looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.”
  16. Why did the tutor take his book in the hospital?…Because it had a broken spine.
  17. What did the math book tell the tutor?….I have a lot of problems.
  18. What do call a tutor who is afraid of Santa Claus?….Claustrophobic. (Top Christmas Jokes)
  19. Why did the M&M hire a tutor?… Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
  20. My tutor owns a cat. Do you know his favorite color?… PUUUUURple
  21. Why did the hot dog hire a tutor?…. He wanted to make an honor roll!
  22. Why did the teacher who tutors bury $5,000 in his backyard garden?….to make his soil rich!
  23. Why did the tutor stare at the automobile’s radio?….He wanted to watch a car-tune.
  24. Why did the tutor throw a clock out the window?…He wanted time to fly.
  25. What kind of tutor does a snake need?… A Hissss-tory tutor!
  26. Tutor: “Here is a math problem. If your dad earned $500 dollars a week and he gave your mother half, what should he have?” Student: “A heart attack.”
  27. What did the pirate need a speech tutor?… To help him pronounce his RRRRRs (Top Pirate Jokes)
  28. Why are magicians good tutors?… They’re good at trick questions.
  29. When is the best time for a tutor to go to the dentist?…2:30 (Tooth Hurty)!
  30. Tutor:“How can you prove the earth is round?” Student: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.” (Top Geography Jokes for Teachers)
  31. What city has the highest number of students who cheat?… Peking, China.
  32. Why did the billboard need a tutor?… to learn sign language.
  33. Why did the broom get a poor grade in school and need a tutor?… Because it was always sweeping during class!
  34. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you go to school, do your homework with the tutor!
  35. Why was the tutor wearing sunglasses on the 1st day of school?… She had bright students! (Top Summer Jokes)
  36. Son: Today my tutor yelled at me for something I didn’t do. Mom: What was that? Son: My homework!
  37. Son: I’m not going back to my tutor ever again! Mother: Why not? Son: The teacher doesn’t know a thing, all she does is ask questions!
  38. What’s the king of all tutoring supplies?… The ruler.
  39. Mother: Does your tutor like you? Son: Like me, she loves me. Look at all those X’s on my test paper!
  40. A math tutoring book never written: “High School Math” by Cal Q. Luss. (Top Math Jokes)
  41. Chemistry Tutor: What is the chemical formula for water? Student:H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O. Chemistry Tutor: What are you talking about? Student:Yesterday you said it was H to O. (Top Chemistry Jokes)
  42. Why did the little vampires stay up all night with his tutor?… They were studying for a blood test. (Top Halloween Jokes)
  43. What’s the difference between a tutor and a train?… A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”
  44. What is the first thing tutor teaches a little snake?… Hiss tory. (Top Social Studies Jokes)
  45. What do tutors give to little astronauts get when they get an answer write?… Gold stars.
  46. Mother: What did you learn during your 1st day with your tutor? Son: Not enough; I have to go back tomorrow!
  47. Student: Teacher, I don’t have a pencil. Tutor: How can you come without a pencil? Student: I took the bus.
  48. Student: “Tutor, may I leave the room?” Tutor: “Well, you certainly can’t take it with you.”
  49. Tutor: Why did you eat your homework, Joe? Student: Because I don’t have a dog.
  50. I show up at the beginning of each school year with a full pencil box and an empty head. (Back to School Jokes)
  51. Son to mother after 1st tutoring session. “Nothing exciting happened except the tutor didn’t know how to spell cat, so I told her.”
  52. What is the first thing a tutor teachers a little gorilla?… The Ape B C’s.
  53. Some kids enjoy buying school supplies. To me, it’s like buying your own dental instruments.
  54. I buy pencils with an eraser at both ends. That’s so I can make sure I don’t make the same mistake twice.
  55. I love school supplies. If only there were some other place we could use them besides school.

102 School Jokes

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