Softball Jokes: Top Softball Jokes of All-Time

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Every day we will try to share a little laughter with our Joke of the Day.

Here is our softball edition. We hope you enjoy. We will try to tweet one joke per day! Check out our entire list of top sports jokes. We are updating it regularly.

  1. Did you hear the joke about the softball?… It will leave you in stitches!
  2. What would you get if you crossed a pitcher and the Invisible Man?… Pitching like no one has ever seen.
  3. What did the softball glove say to the ball?…”Catch ya later!”
  4. Have you ever seen a line drive?… No but I have seen a baseball park!
  5. Why are some umpires fat?… They always clean their plate!
  6. Why are spiders good softball players?… Because they know how to catch flies!
  7. Why are softball games at night?… Because bats sleep during the day! (Bats at the Beach is a Great Summer Book!)
  8. Why did the police officer go to the softballl game?… Someone stole second base!
  9. Is There Softball In Heaven? Two old women had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90′s, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. Her friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they’re reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying woman’s friend asks, “Listen, when you die, do me a favor. I want to know if there’s softball in heaven.” The dying woman said, “We’ve been friends for years, this I’ll do for you.” And then she dies. A couple days later, her surviving friend is sleeping when she hears her friend’s voice. The voice says, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there’s softball in heaven.” “What’s the bad news?” “You’re pitching on Wednesday.”
  10. Which takes longer to run: from first to second base or from second to third base?… From second to third base, because there is a shortstop in the middle.
  11. “Did you hear the joke about the fast pitch?”…  ”Forget it. You just missed it.”
  12. “Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?”…   “Forget it. It’s way over your head.”
  13. Where did the softball player wash her socks?… In the bleachers.
  14. A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk with him. “I’ve figured out your problem,” he told the pitcher. “You always lose control at the same point in every game.” “When is that?” “Right after the national anthem.”
  15. What would you get if you crossed a pitcher and the Invisible Man?… Pitching like no one has ever seen.
  16. Which superhero is the best at baseball?… Batman.
  17. What cartoon character is the best at softball?… Homer Simpson.
  18. How do softball players keep in touch?….They touch base every once in a while.
  19. What has 18 legs and catches flies?… A softball team!
  20. Why do girls like softball?… It’s the only sport played on a diamond!
  21. “Why do we sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when we’re already there?”
  22. Why are frogs good outfielders?… They never miss a fly.
  23. Why was Cinderella so bad at softball?… She had a pumpkin for a coach.
  24. What is a softball player’s favorite thing about going to the park?… The swings!
  25. A book never written: “How to Be a Better softball Player” by Ben Schwarmer.
  26. What do you get when you cross a tree (Top 10 Arbor Day Jokes) with a softball player?… Babe Root.
  27. Why are singers good at softball?… Because they have perfect pitch!
  28. Do you know what cupcakes & a softball team have in common?… They both count on the batter!
  29. What do you get when you cross a softball player with a monster?… a double header! (101 Halloween Jokes)
  30. What are the rules in zebra softball?… Three stripes and you’re out.
  31. Why was Cinderella kicked off the softball team?… She ran away from the ball.
  32. What do softball players use to bake a cake?… Oven MITTS, BUNT pans and BATTER.
  33. A book never written: “The Quickest Softball Game” by Earl E. Wynn.
  34. Why don’t softball players join unions?… Because they don’t like to be called out on strikes.
  35. Why is a softball park the coolest place to be?… Because it’s full of fans.
  36. How is a softball like a pancake?… They both need a good batter.
  37. Why did the softball player shut down his website?… She wasn’t getting any hits!
  38. Daughter: Mom, what does a softball player do when her eyesight starts going bad? Mom: She gets a job as an umpire. (Top 10 Mother’s Day Jokes)
  39. Where does a softball player go when she needs a new uniform?… New Jersey (New Jersey teachers are great tutors!)
  40. Riddle: A woman leaves home, makes a left turn, makes another left, then another left turn and goes home again. When she gets home there are two women wearing masks waiting for her. Who are they?… The catcher and the umpire.
  41. Why did the softball player bring a pacifier to the game?… He wanted to play like the Babe.
  42. Why don’t matches play softball?… One strike and your out!
  43. What do softball players eat on?… Home plates.
  44. What is the difference between a girl who is late for dinner and asoftball  hit over the fence?… One runs home and the other is a home run.
  45. Why are softball players so rich?… Because they play on diamonds!
  46. Why does a pitcher raise one leg when she pitches?… If she raised both legs, she would fall down.
  47. What animal is best at hitting a softball?… A bat!
  48. Where do coal diggers play softball?… In the miner (minor) leagues.
  49. How can you pitch a winning baseball game without throwing a ball?… Only throw strikes.
  50. Why did the softball batter go crazy?… The pitcher kept throwing screwballs.
  51. If a basketball team were chasing a softball team, what time would it be?… Five after nine. (9:05)
  52. Where does a catcher sit for dinner?… Behind the plate.
  53. Did you hear the joke about your pitching style?”…  ”Never mind. It’s foul.”
  54. What goes all the way around a softball field but never moves?… The fence!
  55. You are locked inside a car with nothing but a softball bat. How do you get out?… Unlock the door, of course!
  56. Why couldn’t the fans get soda pop at the double header?… Because the home team lost the opener.
  57. Why don’t orphans play softball?… They don’t know where home is.
  58. There once was a pitcher so bad, the crowd started singing Take Her Out of The Ball Game!
  59. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Jose… Jose who? Jose can you see be the dawn’s early light.
  60. Why did the softball team hire a cook?… They needed a good batter.
  61. One hit struck a chicken… Now that was a real “fowl ball!”
  62. What do you get if you cross a lizard with a softball player?… An outfielder who catches flies with his tongue.
  63. Little League Vampire: Mom, what’s the best way to hold a bat?… Mother Vampire: By the wings. (Top 50 Mother’s Day Quotes)
  64. Why did the Angels have a ghost on their team?…. To add a little team spirit. (101 Halloween Jokes)
  65. Where can you find the largest diamond in the world?… On a  softball field.
  66. Why was the mummy sent into the game as a pinch hitter?… Because the manager knew, once she sent the mummy in the game would be all wrapped up.
  67. Why did the police arrest the softball player?… He stole 3rd base!
  68. What do you get when you cross a softball pitcher with a carpet?… A throw rug.
  69. The pitcher really had good control today… Didn’t miss a bat for three innings!
  70. If brownie mix is on first base, pudding on second, and cookie dough on third base, who is hitting at the plate?… The cake batter.
  71. Knock – knock… Who’s there?… Uriah…Uriah who?… Keep Uriah on the ball.
  72. Knock – knock… Who’s there?… Phillip… Phillip who?… Let’s phillip the bases.
  73. A softball scout found a remarkable prospect–a horse who was a pretty good fielder and who hit the ball every time she was up at bat. The scout got her a try-out with a big league team. Up at bat, the horse slammed the ball into far left field and stood at the plate, watching it go. “Run!” the manager screamed, “Run!” “Are you kidding?” answered the horse. “If I could run, I’d be in the Kentucky Derby.”
  74. What happens to softball players who go blind?… They become umpires.
  75. Why is it always cool at a softball game?… Because that is where all the fans are!
  76. A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a softball game. For weeks in advance, she coached her patients to respond to her commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the National Anthem started…….the doctor yelled, “Up Nuts” And the patients complied by standing up. After the anthem …he yelled, “Down Nuts”. And they all sat back down in their seats. After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, “Cheer Nuts”. They all brokeout into applause and cheered. When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled, “Booooo Nuts!!!” and they all started booing and cat calling. Thinking things were going very well. The doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving herassistant in charge. When she returned, there was a riot in progress. Finding herassistant, the doctor asked,” What in the world happened? “The assistant replied, “Well, everything was going just fine till a vendor passed by and yelled PEANUTS!
  77. Why did the vampire strike out?… He used the wrong softball bat!
  78. How is a softball like a waffle?… They both need a good batter.
  79. Why is hotter after a softball game?… All the fans have left.
  80. When should softball players wear armor?… When they play knight games
  81. When did the softball team tie up the game?… five to five (4:55) or 10 to 10 (9:50)
  82. When is a softball player like a spider?… When she catches flies.
  83. Why is a softball umpire like an angry chicken?… They both have foul mouths!
  84. What is the difference between softball and law?… In baseball, if you’re caught stealing, you’re out.
  85. Where is the first softball game in the Bible?… In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
  86. Three old ladies are at their first softball game. The friends are drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels and the bottle is now almost gone. What inning is it, and how many are on base… Bottom of the 5th and the bags are loaded.
  87. Why was the mummy sent into the game as the closer?… Because the manager knew, once she sent the mummy in the game would be all wrapped up.
  88. A woman takes a baseball and throws it as hard as she can. There is nothing in front, behind, or to either side of her, and yet the ball comes back and hits her square in the face. How can this be?… She threw the ball up.
  89. Two softball teams play a game. The home team ends up winning, but not a single woman from either team has touched a base. How can this be?… The teams were all men.
  90. A woman is trapped in a house without windows, doors, or any other way of exiting. The house is collapsing, and the man has only a baseball and a bat. How does she escape the fire?…. She swings at the air three times (‘cause it’s one, two, three strikes and you’re out!).
  91. Why do you need to take a softball player with you when you go camping?… To pitch the tent.
  92. Where is the largest diamond in New York City kept?… In Yankee Stadium.
  93. What is the best advice to give a young softball player?… If you don’t succeed at first, try second base.
  94. Why was the piano tuner hired to play softball?… Because he had perfect pitch.
  95. What are the best kind of stockings for softball players to wear?… Stockings with runs in them.
  96. What famous Greek might have invented softball?… Homer.
  97. Two softball teams played a game. One team won but no woman touched base. How could that be?… It was a boys’ softball team.

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