Basketball Jokes: Top Basketball Jokes

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Complete list of sports jokes!

  1. What kind of stories are told by basketball players?…. Tall Tales.
  2. Who was the poet of basketball?… Longfellow.
  3. Why did the basketball player visit the bank?… His checks were all bouncing.
  4. Why did the basketball player go to jail?…  Because he shot the ball!
  5. Why do basketball players love cookies?… Because they can dunk them!
  6. They’re a team in transition… They’re going from bad to worse.
  7. Why did the basketball sit on the sideline and sketch pictures of chickens?… He was trying to draw fowls / fouls.
  8. Why can’t you play basketball with pigs?… They hog the ball.
  9. What’s the difference between a dog and a basketball player?… One drools, the other dribbles.
  10. If a basketball team were chasing a baseball team, what time would it be?… Five after nine. (9:05) (Top Baseball Jokes & Top Sports Jokes)
  11. Yo mama so stupid she thought Dunkin Donuts was a basketball team. (Top Coffee Jokes & Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  12. Why is a baby good at basketball?… Because they’re always dribbling.
  13. Why was Cinderella such a bad basketball player?… Her coach was a pumpkin. (Top Holiday Jokes & Top Halloween Jokes)
  14. Why is a scrambled egg like a losing basketball team?… Because they both have been beaten. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  15. What’s the difference between a ball hog and time?… Time passes. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  16. What did the march say to all the madness?… What’s all that bracket. (March Madness Quotes & Top 25 Jimmy V Quotes)
  17. Did you hear about the basketball team that doesn’t have a website?… They can’t string three “Ws” together. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  18. Why can’t you get a fairly officiated game in the jungle?… They are all cheetahs. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  19. In what sport is a basket filled but never gets full?… Basketball. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  20. Why are basketball players messy eaters?… They’re always dribbling. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  21. What do basketball cheerleaders drink before they go to a basketball game?… Root beer! (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  22. Why is basketball the grossest sport there is?… Because they dribble all over the court. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  23. What do you call a pig with playing basketball?… A ball hog.
  24. Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?… She ran away from the ball. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  25. If a basketball gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut. (Top Astronomy Jokes)
  26. What do you call an unbelievable story about a basketball player?… A tall tale.
  27. “He’s great on the court,” a sportswriter said of a college basketball player in an interview with his coach. “But’s how’s his scholastic work?” “Why, he makes straight A’s,” replied the coach. “Wonderful!” said the sportswriter. “Yes,” agreed the coach, “but his B’s are a little crooked.” (365 School Jokes)
  28. The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and had proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class.  Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”  A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, “A basketball coach?” (Top Psychology Jokes)
  29. Why couldn’t the basketball player listen to his music?… Because he broke a record!
  30. How do basketball players stay cool during a game?… They stand near the fans.
  31. How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?… Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.
  32. Hanging in the hallway at the High School are the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year — “62-63,” “63-64,” “64-65,” etc.  One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, “Isn’t it strange how the teams always lost by one point?”

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