May 4th: Top 10 Star Wars Jokes (May the 4th be with you!)
May 10th: Mothers’ Day Jokes
- What did the mother rope say to her child?…“Don’t be knotty.” (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
- What did the digital clock say to its mother?… “Look, Ma! No hands!” (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
- Why did the angry Jedi cross the road?… To get to the Dark Side. (Top 10 Star Wars Jokes)
- When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?… In the Sith Grade. (Elementary teachers are great tutors!)
- What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?… It’s time to go to sweep! (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
- Larry’s mother had four children. Three were named North, South and West. What was her other child’s name? … Larry. (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
- A police recruit was asked during the exam, ‘What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?’ He answered, ‘Call for backup.’ (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
- What did the mother bullet say to the daddy bullet?… “We’re gonna have a BB!” (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
- Sunday school teacher: Tell me, do you say prayers before eating?… Student: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook. (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
- Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?… Because their kids have to play inside!
- Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me! (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
- How come the mother needle got mad at the baby needle?… It was way past its threadtime! (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
- If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?… Pilgrims.
- Why do fish swim in salt water?…. Pepper makes them sneeze.
- Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean?… They’re both below C level!
- Teacher “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student “ Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!” (Top 40 4th of July Jokes)
- A Great American Book Never Written: “The Parts of the National Anthem” by Homer D. Brave. (Flag Day Jokes)
- Best War of 1812 Book Never Written:… “The Star- Spangled Banner” by Jose Kanusee. (Flag Day Jokes)
- Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?… Student:“Play ball”? (Flag Day Jokes)
- What did one American flag say to the other flag?…..Nothing. It just waved! (Flag Day Jokes)
- What did King George think of the American colonists?…He thought they were revolting! (Top 10 4th of July Jokes)
- What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?…The Americans licked the British. (Top 40 4th of July Jokes)
- What was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree! (Top 10 Memorial Day Jokes)
- Where did the General Washington put his armies?… In his sleeveis. (get it his sleeves)? (Top 10 Memorial Day Jokes)
- Why are the Middle Ages sometimes called the Dark Ages? … Because there were so many knights.
- Why can’t you trust an atom?… They make up everything (Top Physics Jokes)
- What do physicists enjoy doing the most at sporting events?… The Wave (Top Physics Jokes)
- Where do cows go on dates?…MOOOOvies
- What happened to the plant in math class?… It grew square roots.
- What kind of pants do ghosts wear?… Boo jeans! (180 School Jokes)
- Why was the strawberry sad?…His mother got into a JAM!