May Jokes: Family-Friendly May Jokes

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Check out our list of 365 Family Friendly Jokes and the list of the World’s Best Top 10 Jokes!

May Jokes

Top Spring Jokes

May 4th: Top 10 Star Wars Jokes (May the 4th be with you!)

May 10th: Mothers’ Day Jokes

  1. What did the mother rope say to her child?…“Don’t be knotty.” (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  2. What did the digital clock say to its mother?… “Look, Ma! No hands!” (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  3. Why did the angry Jedi cross the road?… To get to the Dark Side. (Top 10 Star Wars Jokes)
  4. When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?… In the Sith Grade. (Elementary teachers are great tutors!)
  5. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?… It’s time to go to sweep! (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  6. Larry’s mother had four children. Three were named North, South and West. What was her other child’s name? … Larry. (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  7. A police recruit was asked during the exam, ‘What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?’ He answered, ‘Call for backup.’ (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  8. What did the mother bullet say to the daddy bullet?… “We’re gonna have a BB!” (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  9. Sunday school teacher: Tell me, do you say prayers before eating?… Student: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook. (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  10. Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?… Because their kids have to play inside!
  11. Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me! (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  12. How come the mother needle got mad at the baby needle?… It was way past its threadtime! (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  13. If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?… Pilgrims.
  14. Why do fish swim in salt water?…. Pepper makes them sneeze.
  15. Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean?… They’re both below C level!
  16. Teacher “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student “ Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!” (Top 40 4th of July Jokes)
  17. A Great American Book Never Written: “The Parts of the National Anthem” by Homer D. Brave. (Flag Day Jokes)
  18. Best War of 1812 Book Never Written:… “The Star- Spangled Banner” by Jose Kanusee. (Flag Day Jokes)
  19. Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?… Student:“Play ball”? (Flag Day Jokes)
  20. What did one American flag say to the other flag?…..Nothing. It just waved! (Flag Day Jokes)
  21. What did King George think of the American colonists?…He thought they were revolting! (Top 10 4th of July Jokes)
  22. What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?…The Americans licked the British. (Top 40 4th of July Jokes)
  23. What was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree! (Top 10 Memorial Day Jokes)
  24. Where did the General Washington put his armies?… In his sleeveis. (get it his sleeves)? (Top 10 Memorial Day Jokes)
  25. Why are the Middle Ages sometimes called the Dark Ages? … Because there were so many knights.
  26. Why can’t you trust an atom?… They make up everything (Top Physics Jokes)
  27. What do physicists enjoy doing the most at sporting events?… The Wave (Top Physics Jokes)
  28. Where do cows go on dates?…MOOOOvies
  29. What happened to the plant in math class?… It grew square roots.
  30. What kind of pants do ghosts wear?… Boo jeans! (180 School Jokes)
  31. Why was the strawberry sad?…His mother got into a JAM!

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