Geography Awareness Week: 40 Geography Jokes

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Celebrate Geography Awareness Week (November 17th – 23rd 2013) with these great geography jokes.

  1. What do you call a map guide to Alcatraz?…A con-tour map.
  2. What do John Wayne and a map key have in common?…Both are legends.
  3. Why was longitude boiling mad?…Because it was 360 degrees.
  4. Why are maps like fish?….Both have scales.
  5. Why do senior military officials like small scale maps?…Because they have been GENERAL-ized.
  6. What is smarter, longitude or latitude?…Longitude, because it has 360 degrees
  7. Why do paper maps never win at poker?…Because they always fold.
  8. What did the mapmaker send his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?…A dozen compass roses.
  9. Why didn’t the map projection finish his speech?…He was interrupted.
  10. Why did the cartographer put the projection in a hangar?…It was a plane projection.
  11. What map element plays in the band?…The symbols (cymbals).
  12. Did you hear about the map that was mugged?…It was rolled by the map librarian.
  13. What is a nautical chart’s best pitch?…The depth curve.
  14. What projection do birds use to track their migration?…A robins-son (Robinson) projection.
  15. What kind of map plays CD’s?…A stereo map.
  16. Why don’t cartography librarians wear high heels?…They prefer map flats.
  17. “Old geographers never die, they just lose their bearings.”
  18. “Old geographers never die, they just become legends .”
  19. “Old geologists never die, they just petrify.”
  20. “Old geologists never die, they just get stoned.”
  21. “Geologists aren’t perfect, they have their faults.”
  22. “Geologists don’t dislike classical music, they just prefer rock.
  23. What always sits in the corner but can move all round the world?…A stamp.
  24. How can you tell that compasses and scales are intelligent?…Because they’re all graduated.
  25. Why didn’t the map grids go to the popular dance club?…Because they were all squares.
  26. What do geographers grow in their gardens?…Compass roses.
  27. Where do all the pencils come from?…Pennsylvania.
  28. What city always cheats at exams?…Peking
  29. Why is it easy to get into Florida?…Because there are so many keys.
  30. Which has the higher IQ, latitude or longitude?…Longitude; it’s got 360 degrees!
  31. What do penguins wear on their heads?…Ice caps.
  32. What rocks do young geologists play with?…Marbles.
  33. Where do fish keep their money?…In riverbanks.
  34. What did Delaware?…New Jersey.
  35. Where is it always 90 degrees, but never hot?…The North and South Poles.
  36. What is round at each end and high in the middle?…Ohio.
  37. What did the sea say to the shore?…Nothing, it just waved!
  38. What is the fastest country in the world?…Russia
  39. What do you call the little rivers that flow into the Nile?…Juveniles
  40. What country does a pirate love to sail his ship to?…AARRRGHentina!

PG-13

What nationality are you on the way to the bathroom?… Russian

What nationality are you while you are in the bathroom?… European

What nationality are you while you when you leave the bathroom?… Finnish

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