St. Patrick’s Day Jokes

Happy St. Patrick’s Day. We hope we can bring you a few smiles with the following jokes.

  1. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? …. Because they’re always a little short.
  2. Why don’t you iron 4-Leaf clovers? …. Because you don’t want to press your luck.
  3. How is a best friend like a 4-leaf clover?…. Because they are hard to find and lucky to have.
  4. How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? …. He’s Dublin over with laughter!
  5. What do you get when you cross a pillowcase with a stone? …. A sham rock
  6. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day? …. Regular rocks are too heavy.
  7. Why do leprechauns have pots o’gold? …. They like to “go” first class!
  8. How did the Irish Jig get started? … Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!
  9. What do ghosts drink on St Patrick’s Day? …. BOOs
  10. What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day? …. St. O’Claus!
  11. Are people jealous of the Irish? A:Sure, they’re green with envy!
  12. What would you get if you crossed Quasimodo with an Irish football player?…. The Halfback of Notre Dame!
  13. Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato? ….To keep from falling in the stew!
  14. Do leprechauns make good secretaries? …. Sure, they’re great at shorthand!
  15. How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman to the pot of gold? …. He took a shortcut!
  16. What is Irish diplomacy? …. It’s the ability to tell a man to go to hell. So that he will look forward to making the trip
  17. What do leprechauns love to barbecue? …. Short ribs!
  18. Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with? …. Because they’re very short-tempered!
  19. “I married an Irishman on St. Patrick’s Day.” ….”Oh, really?” …. “No, O’Reilly!”
  20. What do you call a fake stone in Ireland? …. A sham rock
  21. Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day? …. Because they’re always wearing green
  22. When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato? …. When it’s a FRENCH fry!
  23. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe? …. Some poor horse is going barefoot!
  24. Why is a river rich? …. Because it has two banks
  25. What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green? …. A Jolly Green Giant
  26. Knock Knock …. Who’s there? ….Irish! Irish Who? …. Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!
  27. Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland? …. He couldn’t afford plane fare
  28. Have you ever heard of the 6-leaf clover? …. I haven’t either!
  29. Why do leprechauns hide behind 4-leafclovers and not 3-leafclovers? …. They need all the luck they can get!
  30. What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river? …. He gets wet!
  31. What do you call a diseased Irish criminal? …. A leper con

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