101 Navy Jokes

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1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Navy jokes. 
2. Navy captain: “Change your course, 10 degrees W” Seaman 1st Class: “Change yours 10 degrees E” Navy captain annoyed: “I’m a Navy captain. Change your course.” Seaman 1st Class: “You must change your course, sir.” Navy captain: “I’m an aircraft carrier..” Seaman 1st Class: “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”
3. Navy jet pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What? 
4. When I lost my rifle, the army charged me $255.99.. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. 
5. Why do they actually prefer non-swimmers in the Navy?… They defend their ship with a lot more enthusiasm. 
6. 3.14% of Sailors are Pi Rates. 
7. What grades do you need to join the Navy?… 7 C’s. 
8. A lot of people assume pirates prefer to be in the Navy. But actually they prefer the arrrrrrrrmy.  
9. What is the only question on the entrance exam to the U.S. Navy?… “Oh say, can you sea?” 
10. My grandfather is always saying that in the old days people could leave their back doors open… Which is probably why his submarine sank. 
11. The Navy is beginning to recruit blind men. They are sending them out to sea. 
12. Why did the sailor join the gym?… To get in shipshape! 
13. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of sandwich?… A sub-marine! 
14. What’s a sailor’s favorite board game?… Battleship.
15. Why did the sailor go to school?… To improve his sea-minus to a sea-plus! 
16. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of movie?… A sea-quel! 
17. What did the Navy say to the coast guards?… “I’ll SEAL you later” 
18. Why don’t naval shipyards have to pay taxes?… Because they are places of warship. 
19. I’m going to join the Navy purely out of spite… I’m longing to become a Petty Officer. 
20. What did the Barbie factory do when it ran out of belly buttons?… They called the the navel reserve. 
21. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the highest rank in the Navy? 
22. My grandfather was a baker in the Navy… He went in all buns glazing. 
23. I became a chef after I left the navy… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. 
24. What did the sailor say to the other when they had a problem?… We are in the same boat. 
25. Army soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the navy can fathom it. 
26. We love @barkbox! Which breed of dog is most common in the Navy?… The aircraft terrier.  dogs
27. What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf. 
28. Why was the Navy movie not permitted to be played in theaters?… Due to censor-ship. 
29. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta join the Navy. 
30. We love @CarvelIceCream! Did you know you can’t eat icecream in the military?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting. 
31. Navy recruiter: “Do you know how to swim?” Recruit: “Why? Have you run out of ships?” 
32. Why did the soldier stuff himself with icecream?… He was a desserter. 
33. An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the Navy, but they abandoned their fellow sailors on their first deployment They are wanted for dessertion. 
34. We love @StarWarsinClass ! Why is there no Jedi navy?… Sailing is a path to the dockside. 
35. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Navy?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! 
36. If Harrison Ford’s son were in the Navy, what would be his favorite city?… Indy-Annapolis. 
37. I wanted to join the Navy… But that ship has sailed… I’ll sea myself out.
38. A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the Navy… You’d be a subcontractor. 
39. What does a Navy captain do during a LeapYear?… Jump ship. 
40. Why is the depression rate so high for US sailors?… Because they have the Navy blues.
41. The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional supportdogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds… They will be subma-weiners. 
42. Dad: You wanna join the Navy? You can’t even swim! Son: no one can fly in the Air Force either. 
43. What do you get when you cross a sheep, a warship, and a father?… A fleece navy dad. 
44. How does a Navy Captain convince his sailors to stop going the bathroom off the back of the boat?… He gives them a stern talking to.  
45. Did you hear about the Super Bowl football player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub? 
46. What color are military submarines?… Deep navy.   
47. I’m about to lose my job in the Navy unless I make some drastic changes… I have to take a course in anchor management. 
48. I’ve never understood the Navy’s color being Navy blue… I thought they were the aqua-marines. 
49. What so you call a snail on a ship?… a Snailer. 
50. Why did the Navy send a submarine to art school?… They wanted it to learn how to draw a-buoys.
51. How does a Navy captain like to start a race?… Ready, set, navy-gate!
52. Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the beach?… He wanted to climb aboard the sand-bar.
53. What do you call a worried sailor?… A nervous wreck!
54. What do you call a Navy cook who’s also a magician?… A soupernatural!
55. Why did the ship refuse to wear a cologne?… It didn’t want to be too fragrant.
56. Why did the Navy officer use the stairs instead of the elevator?… He didn’t want to escalate the situation.
57. What type of jacket does a Navy officer wear?… A coat of arms!
58. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of music?… R and B, which stands for “Rum and Brandy”!
59. How do submarines stay in shape?… They do a lot of deep sea-kale!
60. Why did the navy ship go to school?… It wanted to learn how to make waves!
61. How do navy ships communicate?… They just give each other a wave!
62. How did the navy submarine propose to its partner?… “Let’s dive into marriage!”
63. What did the ocean say to the navy ship?… Nothing, it just waved.
64. Why did the navy officer wear 3D glasses to work?… He wanted to “sea” the depth of the situation!
65. What do you call a group of navy sailors singing together?… A sea-shanty choir!
66. Why did the navy sailor start a fruit stand on the ship?… He wanted to sell naval oranges!
67. How does a navy submarine call its friends?… Through its shell phone!
68. What did the ocean say to the navy ship when it passed by?… “Long time, no sea!”
69. My Granddad fought in the war and survived mustard gas and pepper spray… He’s now classed as a seasoned veteran.
70. My neighbor is obsessed with Navy destroyers… He warships them.
71. What’s a rubber gasket on an aircraft carrier called?… A navy seal.
72. Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the side of their boats?… So when they come back to port they can… Scandinavian.
73. I wanted to join the Navy Seals… But that ship has sailed… I’ll sea myself out.
74. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about the Navy?
75. What do you call a Marine who joins the Navy?… A Sub-Marine.
76. What happens when you eat too many Navy beans?… You might end up with a dishonorable discharge.
77. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Navy knock-knock joke?
78. Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces?… Submarines.
79. I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements. So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.
80. My Papa was a World War 2 Navy veteran and he use to boast about how he saved 300+ sailors from dying from an excruciating death… He shot the cook.
81. In the French Navy, it’s considered unlucky to have the number 5 in a ship’s name… Because all of the ships with that number in their name… cinq.
82. When I was in the Navy, I was on the deck of a destroyer one day, and I saw the periscope of an enemy submarine surface nearby… So I whipped off my hat and dropped it over the periscope.
83. A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?”
84. Where do U.S. Olympic horses shop?… Old Neigh-vy!
85. Did you know Navy ships run on commercial batteries?… They run on 7 C’s.
86. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me how to join the Navy?
87. What do you call a Navy Admiral who gambles, smokes, drinks, and does drugs?… A Vice Admiral.
88. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me how much money I will make if I join the Navy?
89. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the different ranks of the Navy?
90. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe retire from the Navy?
91. What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?… A navi-gator.
92. What do they call cleaners in the Navy?… Scrubmarines.
93. What do you call a group of musical sailors?… The anchor-estra!
94. Each branch has a military ball (Navy Ball, Army Ball, etc.) And it warms my heart to know that one branch will be having “Space Balls” from here on out.
95. Who’s the head of the penguin navy?… Admiral Byrd!
96. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Navy knock knock jokes?
97. Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings!
98. The Russian Navy has announced that it’s commissioning glass-bottom warships… so they can keep an eye on the Russian Air Force.
99. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day.
100. Why did the sailor join the navy?… Because he wanted to see the sea!
101. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even.