101 Christopher Columbus Jokes

by | Oct 10, 2020 | Education, Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Find qualified tutors in your area today!

More Columbus Day Jokes…

October Jokes & (Columbus Day Jokes)

  1. How did Christopher Columbus pay for his trip to the new land?… He used his Discover card.
  2. Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erikson, and Francisco Pizarro?… They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan. (World Geography Jokes)
  3. How did Columbus do on his school report cards?… He always worked at C-Level. (180 School Jokes)
  4. Christopher Columbus got lost because the directions weren’t ‘pacific. (Ocean Jokes)
  5. What baseball team did Columbus root for?… The Mariners. (Baseball Jokes)
  6. Why did it take Columbus so long to say the alphabet?… He spent months at C. (26 Lessons & Ocean Jokes)
  7. Why did the map always get into trouble with Christopher Columbus?… It had a bad latitude. (Geography Jokes)
  8. How did Columbus avoid scurvy?… Vitamin Sea. (Ocean Jokes)
  9. Where did Columbus first land in America?… On his feet! (Biology Jokes)
  10. Why couldn’t anyone play cards on the voyage to the Americas?… Columbus was standing on the deck. 
  11. What time did they serve dinner on the Santa Maria?… Maritime.
  12. Where did Christopher Columbus play checkers?… Overboard. 
  13. Which football team does Christopher Columbus like the least?… The Vikings, because they always beat him. (Leif Eriksson found America first) (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  14. How did Columbus say hello to other sailors?… He waved. 
  15. Which did Columbus way was smarter, longitude or latitude?… Longitude, because it has 360 degrees. (Geography Jokes & College Jokes)
  16. How did Columbus get down from his ship’s mast?… He didn’t – you only get down from a goose. 
  17. How did the young explorer get to school?… On the Colum “BUS.” (180 School Jokes)
  18. The teacher stood at the front of the room. “Does anybody know what this Monday is?” About half of the students raised their hands. The teacher pointed to one of them. “It’s Columbus Day!” he crowed. The teacher smiled. “It is. Does anybody know why we celebrate it?” This time, only one student raised her hand. “It’s the day the Indians discovered Columbus!” (180 School Jokes)
  19. Why does it take Christopher Columbus so long to learn the alphabet?… Because he can spend months at C. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week & Ocean Jokes)
  20. What are the only notes Christopher Columbus can sing?… High C’s [seas] (Music Jokes)
  21. Why did Christopher Columbus say his compasses and scales were intelligent?… Because they all graduated. (College Jokes & Graduation Jokes)
  22. What is Christopher Columbus’ favorite letter?…. He really it’s the ‘C’ they love. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week & Ocean Jokes)
  23. Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course. Lee Trevino (Golf Jokes)
  24. What did Columbus play when he was bored?… Played cards – because he always had a deck. (Ocean Jokes)
  25. How was Columbus’s ship like Black Friday?… They’re both driven by sails. (Black Friday Jokes)
  26. Why was Columbus in trouble with the ocean?… He crossed it. (Ocean Jokes)
  27. Christopher Columbus was talking to the ocean one day and finally says “why so blue?”  (Psychology Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  28. Hey Christopher Columbus! A friendly reminder: Sharks live in the ocean. Year-round. (Shark Jokes)
  29. How does the Christopher Columbus pay his bills?… With sand dollars.
  30. What’s the difference between Christopher Columbus and the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz?… One left his Spain behind and the other left his brain behind. (Columbus Day Jokes & Wizard of Oz Jokes)
  31. What did the Christopher Columbus get on his math test?… A sea plus. (180 School Jokes)
  32. How did Christopher Columbus floor stay up-to-date on the news?…. By following current events, of course.
  33. Where did Columbus find oceans without water?… On his map.  (Geography Jokes) (Ocean Jokes)
  34. Why did Columbus’s first ship sink?… It was christened with holey water. (Ocean Jokes)
  35. Why did Columbus bring helmets on his ships?… To protect the bulkhead. (Ocean Jokes)
  36. What did Columbus use for money?… Sand dollars. (Ocean Jokes)
  37. What was the last thing that Columbus said to his sailors before getting on the ship?… “Okay men, get on the ship.”
  38. Why did the Nina crash into the dock…. It was closer than it a-PIER-ed (Nina was one of the ships used by Columbus) 
  39. How did Christopher Columbus make his crew laugh?… With a whale of a tale. (Whale Jokes)
  40. What did Columbus say when he was accused of speeding through the port?… I did knot. (Police Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  41. How did the crew of the Santa Maria wash their clothes?… They used tide. (Ocean Jokes)
  42. Why did Columbus hire a cleaning service for the Pinta?… It was looking dinghy. 
  43. What vegetable wouldn’t Christopher Columbus bring back for the queen?… Leeks – because he was on a ship and didn’t want to sink. 
  44. What did Columbus do on his birthday?… He got older. (Birthday Jokes)
  45. How was Christopher Columbus like ants?… They both established colonies. (American Revolution Jokes & Ant Jokes)
  46. What looks like half the Santa Maria?… The other half.
  47. Columbus’ Father: I don’t care what you’ve discovered, Christopher. You could have written. (Father’s Day Jokes & Father’s Day Quotes)
  48. Let’s celebrate Columbus Day by walking into someone’s house and telling them we live there now! (Walking Jokes)
  49. How was Columbus’s ship like an avid shopper?… They’re both driven by sales! (Black Friday Jokes)
  50. The teacher was telling the story of Christopher Columbus and how many thought that the world was flat. Then she had mentioned that the world was really round and… got interrupted… “Miss Smith, the world is square, not round,” said Johnny. “No, it’s round Johnny. Who told you it was square?” replied the teacher. “My older brother. He claims he’s been to all 4 corners of the earth.” (Geography Jokes)
  51. Who was the first feline to discover America?… Christopher Columpuss. (Cat Jokes)
  52. What’s a Christopher Columbus’ least favorite veggie?… Leeks (
  53. What happened when Columbus was shot at by an Indian?… He had an arrow miss. (Archery Jokes)
  54. Why did the hungry Columbus eat the last candle?… He wanted a light snack. (Candle Jokes)
  55. Who was the first cat to discover America?… Christopher Columpuss! (Cat Jokes)
  56. Why did the Christopher Columbus fail his spelling class?…. Because he insisted there were seven ‘C’s. (Deos Selplnig Ralely Mtetar? / Spelling Lists / Ocean Jokes / Grammar Jokes)
  57. Why does Christopher Columbus carry his sword?… Because swords can’t walk.
  58. What is the best way for Christopher Columbus to communicate with a fish?… Drop it a line! (Fishing Jokes & Fish Jokes)
  59. Why did the lobster blush?… It saw the Nina’s bottom. (Lobster Jokes for Kids & Summer Jokes for Kids)
  60. What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have?… A life saver! (Candy Jokes)
  61. What did the sea say to the Christopher Columbus?… Nothing, it just waved! (Geography Jokes)
  62. When is the best time for a Christopher Columbus to buy a new ship?… When it’s on sail. (Black Friday Jokes)
  63. What kind of ships didi Christopher Columbus have trouble with?… Relationships! (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  64. What would you get if you crossed Columbus Day with Halloween?… Ghoulumbus Day! (Halloween Jokes)
  65. What’s the difference between one of Columbus’s sailors and a monster?… One left his Spain behind and the other left his brain behind!  (Halloween Jokes)
  66. What happened in 1492?… Native Americans discovered Columbus.
  67. America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.  Oscar Wilde
  68. What did Columbus do with the blue whale?… Cheered it up. (Cheerleading Jokes / Psychology Jokes) / Whale Jokes)
  69. How did the octopus make Christopher Columbus laugh?…With ten-tickles. (Ocean Jokes)
  70. Why did Columbus cross the ocean?… To get to the other tide. (Ocean Jokes)
  71. Why did Columbus bring a baseball player on his voyage?… In case he needed someone to batten down the hatches. (Baseball Jokes)
  72. What do Christopher Columbus and a map key have in common?… Both are legends. (Geography Jokes)
  73. Got an email from an airline inviting me to”Discover America.” I’ve replied with a link to the Wikipedia page about Christopher Columbus.
  74. What was Columbus’s favorite letter of the alphabet?…C (Sea). (26 Lessons & Ocean Jokes)
  75. How big was the shipwrecked Spanish ship?… It was capsized. (Ocean Jokes)
  76. Why did Columbus put one of his sailors in time-out?… He was being naughty-cal. (Ocean Jokes)
  77. Why did Columbus eat a candle?… He needed a light snack.  (Candle Jokes)
  78. What do you get when you cross Columbus Day with Halloween?… Ghoulumbus Day. (Halloween Jokes)
  79. How much oil did Christopher Columbus need to reach America?… 3 Galleons.
  80. Who taught Christopher Columbus how to sail?… Bo Ting. (Ocean Jokes)
  81. The Indians, Braves, and Redskins lost yesterday… Yesterday was Columbus Day.
  82. What time was it when a whale jumped into Columbus’s boat?… Time to get a new boat. (Whale Jokes)
  83. Why doesn’t Columbus Ohio have a professional football team?… Because then Cincinnati and Cleveland would want one too.
  84. How did Columbus greet the Native Americans when he first landed in the Americas?… With new diseases.
  85. What kind of bus can cross the ocean?… A Columbus.
  86. Son: When I grow up I want to be like Christopher Columbus. Dad: An explorer? That’s great, son. Son: No, I want to get lost, spread diseases, steal tobacco and still be celebrated.
  87. A store near me is offering a Columbus Day sale… I’m going to walk in, take whatever I want, and kill anyone who tries to stop me.
  88. Columbus discovered the new world… much like a meteorite discovered the Dinosaurs.
  89. Why did the Pinta crash into the dock…. It was closer than it a-PIER-ed (Pinta was one of the ships used by Columbus) 
  90. Why did the Santa Maria crash into the dock…. It was closer than it a-PIER-ed (the Santa Maria was one of the ships used by Columbus) 
  91. Where did Columbus take his boat when it had a hole in it?… To the nearest doc. (Ocean Jokes & Doctor Jokes)
  92. What happened when Christopher Columbus dropped his hat in the sea?… It got wet. (Ocean Jokes)
  93. How did Columbus get the Pinta for so cheap?… It was on sail. (Black Friday Jokes)
  94. How did Columbus get the Pinta for so cheap?… It was on sail. (Black Friday Jokes)
  95. What was a goal for Christopher Columbus?… When the ball went into the net. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  96. How did Columbus get the Santa Maria for so cheap?… It was on sail. (Black Friday Jokes)
  97. Where dis the crew of Christopher Columbus get drunk?… The Sand Bar. (Beer Jokes)
  98. How did Columbus get the Nina for so cheap?… It was on sail. (Black Friday Jokes)
  99. How did the crew of the Nina wash their clothes?… They used tide. (Ocean Jokes)
  100. How did the crew of the Pinta wash their clothes?… They used tide. (Ocean Jokes)
  101. What looks like half the Nina?… The other half.
  102. What looks like half the Pinta?… The other half.